Monsters
by Apples 'n' PB
Summary: Edward Cullen is drawn to the blood of Leah Clearwater - a girl who will NOT tolerate a strange man in her bedroom. Learn how two self-confessed monsters come to rely on each other, and accept the beasts within themselves.
1. My Prince Will Come

The window was wide open so fresh, cool air blew on my overheated face, drying up tears as soon as they came. My shiny black pumps and grey sweater lay unceremoniously in the middle of the living room floor. Now I was considering changing out of my tight jeans and t-shirt and into some ratty sweats to match my mood.

"Are you sure he's coming, sweetheart?" my mother asked as gently as possible. She wasn't accustomed to this frail, vulnerable side of me. Mom knew me better than anyone else, but I tried to be tough in front of everyone, including her.

"I'm sure," I whispered. I paused, disappointed by the evident exhaustion in my voice. "He just wouldn't do this. He's coming."

Her warm brown eyes, identical to mine, lifted to the clock in the dining room. She looked at me pointedly, yet sympathetically, communicating that if no man comes by 9:40 pm, he wasn't coming at all.

She shuffled her slippered feet down the hall toward her room. A second later, I heard her and Dad muttering their concerns. I plopped down on the floor by the window, resting my cheek against the cold window sill. This was no way to spend a seventeen birthday. I hadn't seen Sam in three days and he never answered my calls or texts. If this were any other boy, I'd swear he was dumping me. But after two years of bliss with Sam Uley, I swore he was my soulmate. What was scary was his mom and friends had no idea where he was, either. Sam wasn't the kind of troubled kid who'd take off. Straight A's, a loving mother, and a spot on the basketball team were proof of that. His reputation on the rez was based on his kindness and leadership.

When I last saw Sam, on Wednesday at school, he was dropping hints about where he'd take me for my birthday. Our anniversary was close to my birthday, so last year, we celebrated both occasions on one date. It was warm for October, and we spent a whole day at the beach. He had spent what little money he had on a cheap bracelet that remained priceless in my eyes. He even wrote me a long poem, which contained all those silly clichés that lovesick people express. Still, it was ours…

My next few actions were that of a wild woman. As much as I loved Sam Uley, I hated how much he affected me. Before my freshman year, when I met that kind, cute sophomore, I was very independent and hardly thought of boys, besides the occasional crush every few years. Love, in the romantic sense, was something between my parents, or the theme of every fairy tale. Fast forward a couple of years, and now it was the force that drove me to grab my pumps and sweater then slip out my front door.

Sweat trickled down my body when I realized how black the sky had become. The full moon's light was captivating, yet intimidating, threatening. In the woods behind my house, I heard the strangled cry of some beast of the night. It seemed to speak to a wild side of me that I didn't know I possessed, deep in my bones, on the surface of my soul. I stood on my porch, glowing in the moonlight, fighting the irrational urge to follow the monster's howl.


	2. Close Encounters

It was then that I began to understand that the soul is much stronger than the mind. After all, aren't you only a gauzy soul after you die? Ghosts aren't lost _minds_. Souls are. _Minds_ don't drift up to heaven or fall into hell. Souls do. Sometimes they drag you into darkness while your mind, the knowledgeable do-gooder, screams and thrashes, trying to get away.

I seemed to have walked forever, and yet never reached the beast. The thick foliage never changed. The sky was still black; the moon was still white. The only indication that I was getting anywhere rested in the howls, which grew louder and more intense.

I hissed a curse when I realized my heels were stuck. I'd forgotten about the rain earlier this evening, which left the ground soft and squishy with moisture. Leaning against a thick tree, I scraped the dirty shoes against the rough bark. A minute later, I resumed my late-night stroll, now satisfied with my clean pumps and a healthy dose of profanity.

Nearly a meter of ground was conquered before my body froze. No longer was my soul in the grip of the howl. A powerful gust of wind whipped my waist-length hair around my face, temporarily blinding me. I was shrouded in even more darkness than before, gaping into a rayless whirlpool. When it settled, I could no longer hear the howls. A faint whistle of air hung limply in its place.

I glanced over my shoulder, trying to estimate how far I'd come, how long it'd take to get back home. All I could see was an endless forest. Maybe I would've seen the same thing in front of me when I turned back around, but two red eyes stole my gaze.

These unnatural, sinister orbs held me in place. My pointy heels slowly drilled into the mud. I was sinking like a stature that'd been dropped into a volcano. Petrified, I took in the stranger. The cold, crimson eyes contrasted greatly with the sweet face they were set in. A square jaw, high cheekbones, and glossy, ebony hair were paired with broad shoulders and muscular arms. The creator of this creature sought perfection that even God wouldn't aspire to produce. This was the work of evil.

Slowly, the stranger's pale hands reached out for my arms, like I was a skittish animal he wanted to befriend. Yelping, I leaped backwards. He was behind me before I landed. Seeing that I definitely would put up a fight, he became aggressive. One hand snaked around my waist, the other slid over my throat. My skin burned with fear at his icy touch. His grip tightened. My muscles trembled, but I was getting nowhere. It was like trying to knock over a skyscraper. He irritably hissed as I resisted. Again, I stilled. As if the red eyes didn't already spell out that this was no "he". I was caught in the grasp of a real vampire, and there was little chance "it" would spare my life. All those "Cold Ones" legends that the elders engraved on the minds of young Quileutes were so detailed and valued because they were so much more than bedtime stories. They were warnings.

All I could do was stare at the full moon as the beautiful, sickening creature tilted my head back. It pressed its nose against my neck, inhaled deeply, then smiled euphorically. Uncomfortable disgust couldn't sum up my feelings then. Two freezing lips pressed against my skin as my mouth flooded with saliva. Was this the end? Mom and Dad would be disappointed and angry, thinking I lost it over Sam. Though, judging by my current situation, maybe I did. Seth was still so innocent. This would shatter his world. And Sam? Well, that hurt too much to think about.

Before I could even scream at the shock of a murderer touching me, I was dumped onto the ground. What a surprise. This creep was a klutz. I sat up to see two shadowy figures were actually fending off my attacker.

A giant, bear-like man ran to it, tackling it to the ground. They skidded a good twenty yards across the mud. The creep was still faster than the bear, though. As the bear delivered thundering punches to its face, it slithered out from under him, flipping him onto his back.

The second person was on the creep before it could harm her companion. The moon shone on this one. It had to be a young girl – the figure was petite and elfin. Her appearance didn't do her abilities justice. She leapt onto the creep's back, twisting its raven-haired head off its shoulders. A crack rang out through the forest – the sound was equally satisfying and unsettling. Like shooting a used napkin into a trashcan, she tossed the inhuman head into a small fire, which the bear must have started. The elf continued to tear away at the body and soon the bear joined in.

Clearly the bear and elf were vampires, if not some other mythical creature I'd never even heard of. No humans would have been able to take on the bloodthirsty Cold One. For now, I chose not to freak out, since they did just save my life. Even if they did end up killing me, it wasn't like I could outrun them. I couldn't even think about all the unknowns and most likely awful possibilities right then.

I carefully stood on shaky legs and stumbled to where my heroes where cleaning up. In the light of the fire, their angelic faces showed as much exhaustion as I felt. The girl automatically came to my side, though, when I approached. She was nearly a foot shorter than me, and looked about my age too, yet she acted like an elderly woman who'd seen a child fall down at a playground.

"Are you alright?" she asked. Her words were so rushed and low I had to strain to catch them. I nodded since my throat felt like I swallowed sand. Her eyes were honey-gold, too yellow to pass for brown or hazel. They were just as unnatural as the creep's, yet the cruel taunt was replaced with genuine concern.

"Yeah, it's pretty hard to guess how a chick would feel when a vamp almost drained her," the bear smirked as he moved to put out the fire. His eyes were also golden. The pair didn't have the exact same features, but they had the same black hair, gold eyes, model-like bone structure, and friendly smiles.

"It's called compassion, Emmett. I highly recommend you use some."

"It's called humor, Alice. I highly suggest _you_ use some," he said, trying to make his deep voice squeaky in a poor imitation of the short girl.

She glanced at me apologetically, in an "excuse-my-embarrassing-brother" way that I often did when Seth made a dopey comment in front of my friends. Somehow, despite the bizarreness and confusion of having two "good" vampires save your life from another vampire, their silly interaction was slightly relaxing.

Alice suddenly cut off the joking with her brother. "We should take her to Carlisle. She still might be injured. Carry Leah. She's in no condition to walk."

Before I could question how she knew my name, she turned to me. "We'll explain everything, but now we have to get moving. It's not safe here."

Emmett scooped me up into his arms, and I rolled my eyes, too tired to protest. They both walked too fast for my liking, but I said nothing, since they were most likely slowing down for my sake. They seemed anxious, like they really wanted to run. I even started to doze off as I traveled to an unknown place with my strange vampire escorts. It's as if I was too drained to feel any emotion. I was not listening to my brain or soul anymore. First a vampire attacks me, then I'm starting to nap in another's arms.

My eyes snapped open when I heard the shouts. The vampires had come to halt in their power walk. I squinted to see two men up ahead. The blond had the brunette by the arms, who gnashed his teeth viciously like some hellish creature. Images of the raven-haired Cold One poured into my mind, despite my best efforts to not think about anything.

"Alice! You take her! Emmett, help me! I can't hold him back any longer!"

I was transferred smoothly into the tiny girl's arms like a newborn baby. I caught a flash of Emmett and the blond dragging the brunette away, who hissed and struggled. Then I was speeding away, and I couldn't catch anything but darkness.


	3. The Cliff

**A/N: My original goal was to post every weekend. However, I am a musician and a performer, so my busy schedule prevented an update last weekend. So enjoy this longer chapter. Please review! Also, how would you feel about a chapter from Edward's point of view?**

There's a big cliff jutting out over the water at La Push. All grass breaks up and for many yards it's mostly grey, bleak rock. The cliff isn't too high, but if you stand on the very edge it feels like you're on top of the world. In control yet free.

It's more of a boy's place (or "man's place" as Seth corrects me, the twerp he is). On the few warm days we get out here, guys dare each other to jump, but most of them end up standing there, flirting with the girls that came to watch.

Last year, August got a particularly hot day. Sam had his arm tight around me as we joked around with his friends. Back then his smile was unwavering and his happiness couldn't be masked by anything, not even when his mother brought up his father. During my freshman year, we'd do homework at his house before hanging out. Usually, Sam's mother would be there snooping, not that I cared because she was nice enough. Oh, and her snacks were the best. But she sure could make a room awkward.

"This was our junior prom. Gosh, Sam looks just like him," Allison Uley would smile up at me, brandishing a worn photo of her and her former husband. You'd think the jerk died in an accident instead of dropping his family.

"Well, mom, me and Leah are really late." Sam would practically fling me out the door to some imaginary location while toting a tight grin. Afterwards, he'd be perfectly normal, but over the next two years, we rarely made plans to hang out at his house. Joseph Uley, the dead-beat father, was not a topic of conversation, no matter how sensitively approached.

Anyway, we were lazing around with a smatter of people from school. All of us were scrawny rez kids who just knew we owned the world. It easily seems that way when you barely set foot out of Quileute territory. After a moment of just drinking sodas and teasing each other, we seemed to remember where we were.

"So, Uley, you going or what?" said a greasy-haired kid. He nodded his shaggy head towards the edge of the cliff.

Sam huffed, as if offended by the suggestion. "I'm not going to risk my life to look cool."

"Oh, geez! Not like anyone's died from cliff diving around here," mumbled a gangly kid, taking a long swig from his soda.

"That you know of," piped up an older girl. She was sprawled out on a towel, trying to soak up the few rays the sun surprised us with.

"Exactly." Sam didn't understand sarcasm. "There are better, safer ways to have fun. You guys can go if you want but I'm not jumping off a cliff for any reason." Sam delivered his lines casually, trying to be laid-back and fatherly at the same time. I loved Sam, but a giggle bubbled up in my throat at his righteous dorkiness.

Some of the guys instantly backed up Sam and his maturity and logic. The leader was praised and exalted. Cliff diving was condemned an unseemly pastime for suicidal idiots. Some were even wondering if our current hangout spot was unsafe, as we "might topple off the edge and all die" as one girl passionately put it. Unfortunately, the sunbathing girl noticed my stifled laughter.

"Hey, Prince Sammy. Would you jump off a cliff to save a damsel in distress?" she said, gesturing to me with her long fingernails.

I sighed. Too many times have I been seen as weak and dependent because of my relationship. Since we became a couple in ninth grade, many people had seen us as not two people, but one…thing. I was cool with that because if I had to be packaged with one person, who better than Sam? Once in a while, I wasn't so cool with it. I'd go to parties with a friend or two and they'd look at me confused and go, "You came here without Sam?" A couple of my guy friends pushed me away, like I belonged to my boyfriend and talking to me would be considered adultery.

Sam was all too happy to reply. "Lee-lee's too smart to even think about jumping. But if she did make a silly decision like that, she knows I would save her."

Excuse me, sir? Save me from what? Having fun? Being brave? Wait, is he implying I'd try to kill myself? Or that I'm so clumsy, I'd accidently cartwheel into the water? No one seemed to notice my furious blush. Instead they all cracked up. Apparently, this was a big joke I'd never been let in on.

"Like in geometry, when she'd always beg you to help her. Probably just wanted your attention," snorted the gangly kid.

The dude next to me pushed his glasses up his nose, which slid down his face as he hooted with laughter. "Or when she broke her arm and you were stuck carrying all her crap!"

Everyone jumped in with their own story of a time Sam came to my rescue. It's like I was in a warped fairy tale. I found my voice a little too late. "Do you all think I depend on Sam _that much_?" I demanded, shooting out a glare, which was, at its best, enough to make a baby…less…happy.

Our friends glanced at each other, then cracked up all over again.

The older girl sashayed over to me and placed a manicured hand on my shoulder. "Face it, Lee-lee. You'll always be a prissy princess. But at least you're…" She took in my high ponytail, average height, and denim shorts. "Cute?" she mockingly questioned.

Shrugging off her hand, I turned to Sam. He raised his eyebrows, as if to communicate his lack of answers. Still, I knew he was nervous. Sam was the only one who could be intimidated by my glare.

He caved in. "Okay, Lee, you're not always like that, but it's not like we're lying. And I stand by what I said. If you jumped, I'd make sure you didn't get hurt."

I tilted my chin up, staring into his annoying yet adorable face. "Don't bother."

Like a queen, I gracefully glided over to the very edge of the cliff. Behind me, no one moved or spoke. For a second I just paused there, basking in their shock and in my boldness. Bare toes dangling over the edge. Sun baking its ray of admiration into my copper skin, as if _I_ was something to be admired.

I'm not sure at what point I jumped, or if it was even a decent dive, but sooner or later my body was submerged. The water wasn't as clear as I hoped it would be, but it was just as expansive. How could a whole new world lie so close to my home? I was a queen. I had traveled to an uninhabited kingdom and would claim it. A bolt of fear struck my heart. My eyes snapped shut. This land, or lack of it, was dangerous. I floated there just a second, too afraid to open my eyes again, though the deed was already done. Was I dead? Undead? I spat out my morbid thoughts like sour milk and began to swim for the shore.

As I wrung out my sopping ponytail and slipped out of the water, I tossed a glance at my companions on the cliff. There, they stood, frozen in the heat of the summer day, looking back at me. From my spot on the ground, I could still see the respect and regard for me sprouting in the group. And Sam was…flailing and floundering just below the cliff. Sighing, I charged back into the water to rescue my boyfriend like a good girl.

The last thing I ate was a turkey sandwich. That was around three. Mom had insisted on me eating dinner, but I was so adamant about Sam whisking me off to our date, she left me alone. Then it got late and dark and I couldn't eat at all because I knew I'd throw up, like I'm doing right now.

Slowly, I stepped away from the forest around the Cullen house and met up with Alice. I avoided her eyes, which was easy. All I had to do was look straight forward, above her pixie cut.

"Throwing up is only natural; you're human, aren't you? And you're not that much taller than me. Look at me, Leah." She scowled but still managed to look angelic.

I gave into her order in exchange for an answer. "How do you know my name?"

Alice relaxed slightly, as if her silence was burdening her as well. She shepherded me inside. "Come in."

If I wasn't nauseous, disoriented, and dirty, I might have been able to enjoy the cedars in front of the home. It looked like a piece of history, monumental almost, with its three stories hugged by a roomy porch. I heard the Cullens had money, but it was still too much for a few people. They must have more family members than I guessed. What I would do to move my parents and Seth into a house like this…

My family. The moon was still out and would be for a while. But mom would check on me soon, and if I wasn't there…

Alice was the most charitable, formal hostess I'd ever met. But this was not a situation where I wanted to wait to talk after I'd had a "relaxing, restorative bath and eaten a little something." She even lent me some of her older sister's clothes, a simple heather grey pajama set made of an unbelievably soft fabric. I declined her offer to order a pizza and nibbled on some crackers she'd found in the back of the cabinet. Curled up in a plush white blanket in an armchair, I surveyed the room. The glass wall and varying shades of white were a sharp burst of modern against the aged outward appearance of the home. The high ceilings were cool and I was almost jealous when the soles of my feet touched the velvety carpet, but what stole my attention was the grand piano. Subconsciously, my fingers wiggled, as I remembered the songs from the lessons I used to take up until high school. My eyelids slid shut as I hummed classical music pretending it was my fingers tip-toeing across the keys.

A clear high voice walked onto the railroad tracks, right in front of my train of thought. "You know what we are. That's obvious. But me and my brother, Emmett, saving you was a lot more than 'right place, right time.'"

She leaned back in the chair across from me. "I can see the future. Earlier tonight, I knew a girl was going into the woods – you. Never a good idea, dear. Very few of our kind commit to a vegetarian lifestyle."

I stared at her.

"Wonder why me and my brother have gold eyes, while that man had red? Feeding on the blood of solely animals. No humans."

"Oh. That's…better." I internally gagged. Is it rude to a let a kind, sweet girl that saved your life know she's disgusting you?

"The bigger problem was that I had another vision of a vampire ending up here by night, the perfect time to hunt humans. It was decided that me and my two brothers, Emmett and Edward, would head out to catch him before he caught you. Our father, Carlisle, came too, to stop the nomad, or possibly treat you if we got there late and you were hurt. But we knew we could save you. We had, too. My husband stayed home – he didn't exactly want to head in the direction of more humans. Being a vegetarian is difficult, to say the l- "

"Wait, you're _married_?" I blurted. I mean, I knew they must not age, but she looked like a high schooler!

"I am much older than I look," she smiled mysteriously. "But that's beside the point. The four of us were almost there when Edward lost it. He's always had so much control, more than most of us. But tonight, his eyes went black, he started hissing, tried to get ahead of us. He was like a regular vampire. He fought to turn around to head back home, but trust me, it's harder than it sounds. And it hurt to see him in pain like that. We held him back and he calmed down a little, but not enough. Emmett and I left Edward with Carlisle. But as you saw, he's still…"

Her voice trailed off as I remembered the brunette being held back by the blond. Edward and Carlisle. The brunette scared me. Could he really be related to such calm, peaceful people as Emmett and Alice? I didn't know much about them, but my already thin walls of caution were dissolving.

"Will he be back to normal?" I wondered.

"You don't understand. All of us go to school every week, pretend to be normal teenagers. We're in close proximity to humans for hours, and we always suppress any urge to hunt them, because it's evil. I've rarely taken a human life, but I never want to again." She shuddered so quickly I almost missed it. "For Edward to go off like this, is something unexpected but definitely possible."

She paused for my questions but I held my tongue. I needed to know what could make a fearsome creature look so fearful.

"Once in a while a vampire will find a human whose blood practically sings to them. As if the pull wasn't strong enough with every other being, this one single person can ruin a vampire's world. However, most vampires will kill that human without a second thought. For the rest of us, it's a big decision. You get as far away from that human as possible for as long as you can. If you don't, you give into temptation and live with the guilt."

She abruptly ended her story. The elfin girl gazed out the glass wall as if she wanted to say more but also felt like she said too much. I stared at my shaking hands, wondering if the crackers were going to come back up soon.

"I-I…I suppose he's f-far away from here? Uh, right? I mean, I'm sorry he left because he's your brother but it's for the best, since he won't, well, kill me. Or maybe killing me would be for the best because then he wouldn't have to…um, freak out…not that I want to die because I don't. I guess I should be grateful he left." Then I babbled some more idiotic crap. A part of me was screaming, asking if my butt and mouth had switched places for the night.

At some point, Alice interrupted me, very gently. "Yes," she said. "He's far away from here. Very far." Her voice was gentle but her face was pained so I shut my eyes and focused on her promise of safety from the brunette monster.


	4. Far, Far Away

The sun was rising weakly like an elderly man trudging through his last days. But a relentless, stubborn old man, one that continues to shine on, no matter the circumstances or setting. Even in snowy places like this one.

I hated the sun.

Fully reclining on my left side, a sickly pale light rested on my face. A mirror was hung on the adjacent wall. I made the mistake of allowing my eyes to sweep over it. All of my actions, both physical and mental, were quick but not quick enough to miss my reflection. Sparkling, shimmering skin, deathly black irises. I turned fully onto my back in disgust.

The ceiling was dark red of all colors. The last color I wanted to see. Slowly, I lowered my gaze to the floor. A red and orange patterned rug lay in front of the couch I tried to rest on. Both the carpet and sofa were a simple brown, but the ladies had a penchant for throwing color randomly around their giant cabin of a home. Outside, it appeared to be a commonplace dwelling the color of black tea. But this house included displayed foreign books, clothing and trinkets, indicating the residents traveled everywhere but the moon. It included a collection of worn, beaten dark couches, and a hot pink one in the leader's quarters. It included spacious rooms, each a surprising hue that contrasted with the others. It usually included five vampires.

Hours ago, the cabin population stepped up to six. Carlisle and Emmett threw me in the backseat and sped away to Denali. Jasper, Rosalie, and Esme followed in another car, eager to help, though there really wasn't much to do for me. And Alice, of course stayed home…

A tangle of voices, all delicate, except one baritone, floated up through the carpet. On the first floor, my cousins spoke in hushed tones, which would always be pointless. From somewhere deep inside my mind, the same voices expressed their "private" notions and opinions. Tanya wanted to comfort me. Irina thought she was taking advantage of my "fragile" state, but placidly agreed with her sister and leader. Kate muttered that I needed a kick in the pants and shock to the skin. (I had to chuckle at her daydream of chasing me back to home, threatening to use her gift against me.) Carmen and Eleazar tuned in and out of the blondes arguing, and mostly daydreamed about each other, as they had just made up after a recent fight. They were the only ones vaguely aware of my telepathy so they thought in Spanish, which slowed my brain by a fraction of a second to translate it. Still, in the end it became a raucous composition from a small, unskilled symphony.

Instead of sinking further into the worn leather, I strode over to a radio across the room, resting on a tangerine table. Classical music tiptoed out as I sank back into the sofa. Already my mind was blanking, wandering away from the careful whispers and careless thoughts. If only I could dream. Then there would be some excuse for my fantasies – of crawling out the window and getting a significant head start before they even noticed I left. Of taking in deep gulps of that sweet, merciless scent and embracing my own evil. Of ripping through that tiny town, running the fragrance-lit trail towards my prey. Of inching towards her neck, prepared to end this all…

The door swung open revealing a strawberry blonde with a playful grin. "Edward," she began, walking confidently towards me. Her brain was chattering shamelessly about how good I smelled, how soft my hair would be if she -

Frustrated, I cut her off. We'd been doing this dance for years now. "I don't need any consolation, Tanya. I'll probably be out of here by the end of the day. "

A blade of guilt slashed through me when her pretty face fell. But one had to be firm with Tanya, or she'd go further and further with her vamping. Unfortunately for both of us her infatuation with me had only strengthened over time.

Tanya was a strong person, though. How could a woman who watched her mother burn at the hands of the Volturi be anything but? She was the leader for a reason. The coy smile returned easily as she plopped down on the couch next to me. "Ah, I see. You're going to run around the world in a noble mission to save a human girl from the villain – yourself. What a fairytale. Prince Edward the Horrible." I tried in vain to interrupt her as I already knew where this was going. "For a few years, you'll wander around, visiting the other covens, perhaps even join a few nomads." I tried again to correct her but she placed a finger on my lips. "But then, you'll grow weary, start feeling your age. The world will feel like a windowless little one-room house. And not everyone out there is pro-human life. How can you smell the human blood on your companions while you make do with a mountain lion? And the Volturi, they'll snatch you up in, I don't know, a couple decades? Yes, a telepath, that'd be a beautiful addition to the royal family. And you'd be so weak, so lonely, that you just might say – Edward!"

Smirking, I leaned back into the couch as Tanya cradled her index finger. "I know that didn't hurt. Second, I'd never join the Volturi. Third, I actually did have a reasonable plan."

"And you call yourself a gentleman," she scoffed, pretending to still be angry as she looked for a laceration on her fingertip that wasn't there.

"Oh, and mountain lions are the best," I added cheekily.

"Better than…her?" she teased. Her mind was concerned for me, though.

Still, I stiffened. "That is something I would rather not find out."

A beat of silence passed between us.

"You're a good man, Edward. Never met one of our kind that had a heart ten times better than his face. Besides Carlisle, though, but he's practically a saint."

"And a good "man", if that's what you say I am, would not tempt fate. Don't you see? If I kill this girl, I'll erase years of progress. The treaty we set will be broken."

"Are there even any wolves yet? You guys haven't been there long."

"That doesn't matter. But the worst part is, I'll be murdering a teenager, a girl, with a family and friends, and a long, happy life ahead of her."

Tanya raised an eyebrow at me. "Uh, so do you."

"Not the same," I growled, glaring at the brown carpet.

She recoiled slightly, then chuckled softly. Patting my knee, she stood up. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" I was too consumed with my worries to process her thoughts, but I heard the window slide open.

"To hunt, obviously. Why haven't you done that already?" Tanya grabbed my hand pulling me up.

"Can't go out the house and risk catching that scent."

"I really forgot how dramatic you can be."

In one swift move, she'd folded my body like a briefcase and shoved me out of a second story window. If I were still human, this would've been a horrifying moment of betrayal and shock instead of a childish trick. Being a vampire, I could savor the air curling around my limbs and compare snowflakes as they fell in the morning light. After landing on my feet, I turned to the blonde leaning out the window.

"I trust you, Edward. We all do. It's time you trust yourself. Now get out of my house." Tanya added a wink, a reflex after all her years of shameless flirting.

I inhaled the scent of humans down south, but turned north to search for a decent-sized bear. Maybe I'd go back tonight, or tomorrow, or in a month or never. But there was no chance I was going back the same person to the same life.

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review!**


	5. Parting Ways

The morning began with a tragedy. Someone was burning bacon. I was forced to remind myself that Alice would be unaccustomed to cooking simple meals for a very good reason – a reason I had tried to push out of my thoughts the few hours I lightly dozed in her living room. (She had tried to give me her bed, but that made me wonder why she even needed one until I remembered she was married, which made me nauseous. Again. Besides, I was not going deeper into Dracula's castle.)

Sam consumed my dreams, which wasn't unusual, but the tone was completely different this time. I dreamt of Sam in the forest, zipping past trees, happy and free towards me. His shoulder-length hair flew behind him, his eyes shining with hope and love. As he drew closer, I reached for him, ready for a hug. All anger over his disappearance washed away, and I was left cleansed and at peace. Sam's arms were raising slightly, too. His grin widened. Then those smooth, strong arms passed right through my body, along with the rest of Sam, shocking my core with a gust of ice. I wondered who the ghost was. Him or me? Either way, my body shook with an atypical jealous anger as I watched him run on, to something more important than me apparently. Any sadness that began to form was burned off with rage as my body convulsed and contorted like a demon. I tried to steady myself against a tree. A flame of heat slid down my spine. Crying out, I fell to the ground. The back of my head hit a large rock, and I faded back to reality, which was currently just as scary.

There was a fresh outfit laid out on the chair across from me – a navy blue sweater dress, grey leggings, and brown moccasins. Ignoring whatever mess Alice was making in the kitchen, I headed to what I correctly guessed to be a bathroom, since the other door was labelled as an office. In the mirror, I squinted at my unfamiliar appearance. While I wouldn't call myself vain, I'd definitely seen better days. My black hair was scraggly and matted from tossing and turning all night. My face was clean but a grimace had to be forced out of my features. My eyes were those of a rabid animal – hungry, desperate, and dangerous.

Emerging with a tight smile and sweet-smelling attire, I decided to explore the house a bit. Most likely, this would be my only encounter with vampires or rich people. Portraits decorated the wall next to the piano. All of them were recent, depicting each Cullen from the shoulders up, cheesing, with a regal blue background. Yeesh, it was like a kindergarten picture day. Or more like model headshots, since each person was very attractive and had all their teeth. At the top were two photos side by side. I recognized the blond man from the forest, Dr. Cullen, looking much more tranquil than he had last night. His first name was indicated in small cursive at the bottom of the frame: "Carlisle". To his right was a young woman with an odd yet beautiful caramel shade to her hair. Set into her round, warm face were two golden eyes, the same as the doctor's. Her name, "Esme", was as strange as her husband's.

Underneath the man and woman were five more portraits, zoomed into the faces of Alice, Emmett, and their adopted siblings. The two sisters and three brothers each had the same bloodless skin tone and honey-hued eyes, though their features differed slightly. I took in the pale blonde's photograph first: "Rosalie". (These names were killing me. How old _were_ they?) Above her square chin was a gleaming, haughty smile. She was the prettiest person on the wall, and there was some tough competition. It hurt my brain to accept she existed so I turned to another picture, dismissing "Rosalie" as part of the dream I was trapped in. One man, "Jasper", had honey hair to match his eyes, which were wise and intense, as if he was thinking hard about something else. Still, his smile was soft and shy, like that of a child.

None of these people deserved to be on the same wall as "Edward", who I saved for last. His angular face filled me with a heap of disgust as soon as I recognized him. The crooked smile was almost cocky, as if he wanted to charm everyone. Ugh! And the hair. What color do you get when you mix clay red and dirt brown? A little voice whispered to calm down, that he was as pained as I was panicked. But the anger was almost comforting, and I felt less like a damsel in distress and more like a vengeful warrior.

The burnt bacon smell had grown stronger. Alice was perched on the piano bench, with a miserable looking breakfast on her lap – black strips that did not resemble any kind of meat, eggs that were so gooey and altered it was difficult to tell if she even cooked them, and…a single slice of bread. I stared at the ornate glass plate.

Her wide eyes were trained on Edward's. "The photos were my idea. I wanted to hang our family portraits over here, all of them. We take a new one every decade. They're in the office, if you want to go see. But Carlisle pointed out that we do receive the occasional human guest, usually a doctor friend of his. So I put out our family tree. Too bad we can't draw the lines to show me and Jasper's marriage or Emmett and Rose's. Then people would be even more suspicious." She smiled sadly. "And Edward would feel a bit more alone, as much as he pretends he doesn't."

I stared at the egg goo.

Alice looked up sheepishly. "Let's go get you something."

A few minutes later, I was angrily eating breakfast in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot and ignoring my temporary vampire sort-of-friend who was painting her nails in the front seat of her bumblebee-yellow Porsche. The whole ride we screamed at each other. Well, I screamed and she complained about my screaming.

"You're 20 miles over the speed limit!" I roared for the hundredth time.

"It's a shortcut! No. Body's. Here!" she finally snapped, surging down the empty road.

"Who cares? I'm here! Are you trying to kill me?!"

"I saved you! Now quit yelling. I have advanced hearing." Her high voice was pinched with irritation.

Now I was sprawled out in the backseat, chomping on my glazed donut, the dessert to my sausage and egg breakfast sandwich.

Alice turned. "Hurry up, we have to get to the police station soon."

"Why?"

"To return you home. Did you think I was going to just drop you off well-fed in a stranger's clothes? Your parents will be devastated once they find out you're missing." She gestured to the clock which read 5: 04 am.

"They're going to think I'm insane. Wait, not think. Know."

"I'll sugarcoat it as much as possible. I swear."

There was no use arguing with her. She told the station she'd picked up on something on the security cameras around her home. She found me in the woods with a twisted ankle. My job was to back our story by saying I went for a walk to clear my head but tripped over the debris. Chief Swan was a friend of my father's, but that didn't stop him from giving me a scolding look and a terse lecture about wise decisions. Just a slap on the wrist, nothing I didn't deserve. Unbeknownst to him, what I had encountered on my walk was punishment enough.

I opened the backseat door of the Porsche to head over to the cop car when Alice grabbed my wrist. Her eyes were so bright and nurturing she was beginning to remind me of my mother or Seth.

"My family will be returning shortly. We'll keep the area safe as best we can, but don't do this again," she said.

"Well, that makes me feel a _little_ better."

She caught on. "I had a vision showing Edward heading back in a few days, but that could change. No matter what, we won't let him hurt you, Leah. He won't let himself, either."

"And if he does? Try to I mean?"

"Then we'll disappear. We're very good at that."

"Hm. I noticed." I hesitated. "Thanks for the clothes. And the food. And k-k-killing that…"

"It was no problem. Just be careful out there, okay?"

I nodded and climbed out of her yellow Porsche.

The chief was a totally different guy after hours. A little timid but very casual. Just a few weeks ago, he'd been at my house watching baseball and drinking beer with my dad and Billy Black. Charlie Swan spent more time on the rez than any other non-Quileute person. He warmed up a little during the ride to the reservation. I answered his polite questions about my family's well-being with ease. When he tried to delve deeper into what exactly happened last night, I mumbled some nonsense about a headache. I assumed he silently labelled me as "troubled".

When a police officer knocked on the front door of the Clearwater residence, no one was even up yet. I groaned. Oh if only Alice had just quietly dropped me off so I could sneak back into my room! Mom and Dad answered in their pajamas. As Charlie retold my butchered, shoddy story, their expressions shifted from tired, to confused, then panicked, and last, furious. On a normal day, I would have sniggered, but it was not a normal day. So I cowered behind the cop and bowed my head in shame.

All technology, allowances, and outings were revoked, excepting special situations. ("Like the house being on fire!" Mom yelped.) This was set to last indefinitely, but my parents were not gentle with the rules. ("Especially when they result in a police ride home!" Dad barked.) They were scared, though, and I remembered their concern over my pain last night. Maybe they were right. I was going crazy. Now all I had to do was pinch myself and I'd snap out of this nightmare. Fail. Fail. Fail, fail, fail. The crook of my left arm was reddening under my brown skin when I had finally given up.

Upstairs, I flopped face-down onto my twin bed. Lovely. I would have plenty of time to do my homework, contemplate my existence, predict the number of vampires near my home, panic over the awful-haired vampire magically obsessed me, fret over my MIA boyfriend and try to keep all I've learned about the supernatural a secret, at least for now.

Thank God for Zzzquil.


	6. The Past, The Future, and a Present

"Leah. Leah. Open this door now before I change my mind."

I leaned over to unlock the door before flopping back onto my bed. As Mom stepped in I rolled onto my stomach.

"I was sleeping," I whined into my pillow.

"Not anymore." I heard the clang of her pushing aside the curtains and the flutter of her opening the blinds. "Go shower. Rachel's waiting for you downstairs."

"Rachel? Why?" Mom did not particularly care for my regular group, whom she found to be "shallow future gold-diggers." Of course she would call a neighbor I hadn't hung out with in years.

"Because she's a nice girl that was willing to take you to the mall for a little girl's day out," she said. I sat up to see her rummaging through my dresser, picking out my clothes for me.

"This isn't preschool, Mom. You don't have to choose my outfit and set up playdates."

She whirled. "Don't I? You've been wasting away in bed for a week, acting like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. Excuse me for wanting you to act your age instead of wandering in the woods, then crying over that boy. It's like he's drove you crazy."

"He's missing, you know that. For all we know, he's been kidnapped or he's dead. How can you be so cruel?"

"Trust me, he's fine," she said with surprising bitterness.

"How would you know? No one at school has heard from him. If he's fine, why hasn't he called me?"

Mom leaned against the dresser, rubbing her eyes. "Leah, I spoke with Allison and she said – "

"What?"

"She and Sam were fighting the night he left. Something about his father. Sam threatened to move out, then claimed he needed to get some air. He never came back."

"He would not just up and leave. He loves his mother. He loves me."

"Leah, he's taken off before for a day or two. Now he's eighteen, he has his own money. And Allison noticed something."

I chuckled darkly. "That's a first."

"Allison said he's been very…frustrated, touchy. Would you agree?"

I was ready to deny this when I glanced at my silver bracelet on the nightstand. It was almost plain with a single ruby heart in the center.

 _"I did not lie! I told you I went with a friend!" I spat._

 _"But you weren't telling the truth, either, were you?"_

 _Sam was sweating now despite the open windows of my living room. I backed away until my back hit the wall._

 _"One more time, Leah. Why did you lie about going out with another guy?"_

 _"It wasn't a date – we carpooled to the concert and the party with Jen and Mark."_

 _"So a double date, then."_

 _I was seconds away from decking him. "We've both known Cameron for years! There is absolutely nothing between us. "_

 _"Then why'd you lie?"_

 _"Why'd I lie? Because you've been so jealous lately. Accusing me of sneaking around with your friends, my friends, guys I barely met…Is that how you see me?" My voice cracked at the end._

 _I looked into his cold, black eyes. There was my answer._

 _"Forget it," I said. "Screw you. Screw this. Screw everything." I marched over to the window behind the couch and pitched my bracelet out the open window._

 _I looked back to see Sam's skin burning dark red. His fists and eyes were locked tight. He breathed hard and fast, as if he'd been drowning and just came up for air. And ever so slightly, he was shaking._

 _In a flash, I was at his side. My hand pressed into his heated cheek. "Sam, are you okay?"_

 _Slowly, his dark eyes opened. They were still as cold and black as before. "Yes," he said through gritted teeth._

 _I didn't turn as he moved past me and exited my house._

 _The next morning, a Tuesday, I opened my door to see him fidgeting with a bouquet of red roses, my bracelet wrapped in a box, and a nervous smile. He asked to take me out on a special date that Saturday for my birthday and our anniversary._

"Leah?" Mom repeated. At some point she had sat down on the bed next to me.

"Hm." My eyes were on the wilting roses leaning over my bracelet.

"You never answered my question."

"No. Sam's been fine. He is fine." The roses seemed to sag further.

It wasn't that I dislike Rachel Black. She had a uniqueness that I admired because most kids on the rez faded into the ordinariness of our home. She was pretty and smart and would have been popular too if she didn't reject and diss all of us at every opportunity. You had to give her some leeway, though. If my mother died in a car accident when I was in seventh grade, I'd be way more messed up than Rachel.

But Rebecca seemed to handle it better. She still went bonfires and parties. She still talked to us when we reached out to her. She still smiled.

Rachel was sprawled out on the tan leather sofa eating Sour Patch Kids. Well if the candy fits…

She glanced up from the science documentary.

"Is that what you're wearing?" Rachel gestured to the baggy pale pink T-shirt that read "Princess" in studs and the black sweatpants. This was a compromise. No way was I wearing the brown turtleneck and long denim skirt Mom tried to lend me when she realized I had no "practical clothing for the harsh cold weather".

"I could say the same to you." And I meant it. Once upon a time, Rachel was the goddess of fashion. Dangly earrings, colorful flats and sneakers, every cut of jeans and style of skirt, all that and more was in her closet. She could even design and sew a little. So it was a bit of a shock to see her in a barf green long-sleeved shirt, a thick purple sweater vest, shapeless khakis, and clunky brown shoes.

"This is my normal. That isn't your normal." Rachel went outside to the beat-up black car on the curb.

"Well, I've changed. Like you did."

She snorted.

"Whatever. It's practical. Besides, I'm getting new clothes, anyway," I said, sliding into the passenger seat.

"You really think we're going clothes shopping?"

I gaped at her. "But my mom said – "

"Yeah, yeah. 'Take my depressed daughter out! Be her BFF since everyone else is too self-absorbed to check on her.'"

She laughed at my pissed expression. I craned my neck around to watch my house shrink away. Maybe once we hit a stop sign I could roll out the car and run.

"Seriously though. I was getting tired of watching you mope down the halls all week."

"Hooray. You do have a heart. Now take me back home."

"Nope. We're going to have fun. Just my way, not with a horde of primordial boys and their wannabe valley girls. That's more your style."

"Awesome. Let's do yours. We'll watch a documentary about diseases then organize all your old man shoes into the three primary colors: brown, white, and black."

Rachel glanced at me and broke into snorts. Reluctantly, I joined in.

We didn't go to the mall, but we did shop. Rachel charged ahead of me while I managed to keep pace with her in a bustling city. I stared into a shoe store with longing, causing me to walk right into Rachel's purple vest. We were in front of an old brick building complete with wooden double doors.

"This is one of my favorite stores. If you say anything stupid in here, I will happily beat you to death." She crossed her arms and tapped here foot, looking a bit cartoonish.

Rolling my eyes, I pushed past her into the store but froze after three steps. The high slanted ceilings reminded me of a rustic farmhouse. The wooden tables and bookshelves were charming in a handmade way. The lighting was warm enough to comfort customers but not so dim as to strain everybody's eyes as they tried to read. Speeding through the aisles, I found every classic I ever heard of. The magazine section was a bit sparse, but I could get over it.

A little later, I found Rachel by the window in a mustard yellow armchair. A dozen books were stacked at her feet. She looked up from _Frankenstein_ as I approached.

"Whatcha got there?"

Proud, I brandished a shiny copy of _Wuthering Heights_.

She gave her classic stupid snort. "Last thing you should be reading."

"A famous romance with ghosts and revenge. We read this last year in English. I thought it was cool."

"Um, no, it's a horrific example of two clingy drama queens mistaking insanity for love." The snob gave me a pointed look.

"Sam and I are not Heathcliff and Catherine."

"Maybe not. But you possess the inability to accept his absence."

Instead of slapping the snob out of her, I plopped down on the chair across from her. Stupid ex-friend nerd girl. "Thanks for zapping my good mood. I thought you were supposed to make me feel better."

She didn't look up. "No, I am not supposed to make you feel better. It is your choice to feel better."

I looked at her for a good moment. Rachel had the healthy light brown skin and high, defined cheekbones of a beautiful teenager. Yet she dressed like a dowdy older woman and slurped hot chocolate like a little kid.

"How come you don't talk to anyone anymore, Rachel?"

Her face flickered with guilt. "You, Sam, and our classmates are not everyone."

"Rebecca still hangs out with us."

"My sister and I are only physically identical."

"Of course. I guess I mean…life is short."

"I couldn't agree more. That's why I live life to the fullest."

"Huh?" I wasn't sure I heard her right. Did Rachel dress conservatively to prevent the discovery of her hard partying on Saturday nights?

"To you, "living" is parties, friends, and kisses. Am I right?"

"Basically," I admitted.

"To me, "living" is making something of yourself. A life outside of the rez. My mother dying taught me many things, but here's the most important one. I wasn't meant to marry a classmate, work a part-time job, then pop out a few babies."

She was describing almost everyone's mother. It was difficult not to be mad at her. "So you think you're too good for us?"

"Not at all. More like I want to put my focus into other things, like science, reading, studying. My mind will be my best chance out of here. Therefore, I don't focus on my clothes or friends anymore. I know what I want and need to be happy."

As Rachel turned back to her book, I continued to stare, except with envy instead of confusion. She knew who she was, what was important. An outsider, but by choice, and a content one. And here I was, abandoned and afraid, wearing sweats with a hole in the butt I covered up with a baggy top.

What. A. Loser.

Where was that café? I got up and stormed to the back of the bookstore. Maybe I wouldn't be as happy as Rachel, but I sure as hell would have a delicious drink like she did! Shamelessly, I cut in front of a mother and her toddler, a senior with a cane, a preteen clutching her little purse, and a college-age couple staring into each other's eyes. The barista, with his lanky build and blond coiffure, was certainly not ready for me.

"A smoothie. Now."

"Tracy", as his nametag said, frowned slightly. "Sorry, miss. I think we just ran out – "

"Think? Think? Did you even check?"

Tracy smiled weakly then dashed into a back room. The couple behind me glowered. I growled at them and they jumped.

Tracy returned, wringing his hands. "W-we have a bit of orange left, miss."

"Strawberry-banana."

"What?"

"Straw. Berry. Ba. Na. Na. God, what is wrong with you?"

"I don't know." His beady eyes darted around the room for help.

"Then get me my order!"

"B-but we don't sell strawberry banana."

"Okay, you have orange but you don't sell the most common smoothie flavor ever?!"

"I'm sorry!" Tracy shrieked.

"No, you're not!" I yelled.

"Don't kill me!" he cried, backing into a coffee machine.

"Raaaaaaa!" I wasn't sure what exactly I said at that moment, but it felt as though I unleashed the pain of five war-torn countries.

"Aaaaaaaahhhh!" Tracy threw up his skinny arms in surrender, and looking back, I believe he may have wet his pants, judging from his tearful expression and crumpling body. I wanted to say more, but the fight was quickly leaking out of me.

"Leah," a high voice chirped my name.

Alice was behind me, her arm linked with a tall, handsome man. Jasper. He looked at me with curiosity and caution.

The petite vampire embraced me gently. "How lovely it is to meet you again."

I was surprised at her genuineness, especially since she just caught me yelling at some poor guy like a savage. Maybe Rachel was onto something. I was definitely a Heathcliff. "Uh, ditto," I said awkwardly.

Behind us, Jasper snickered.

"Jasper, this is my friend, Leah. Leah, this is my husband Jasper."

We shook hands stiffly. I tried not to shiver when I touched his cold skin. Alice was so friendly I barely noticed her temperature, but with a stranger it was jarring.

"It's lovely to meet you, Leah. Alice has told me a lot about you."

Nice. Alice was laughing it up with her family about the mental patient she had to rescue. Maybe they'd see my insignificance and unleash Edward on me.

Jasper frowned suddenly and his dark gold eyes turned toward the books. "I'll leave you ladies to catch up."

"Are you sure?" Alice asked, gripping his arm.

Her husband nodded then walked briskly out of the café.

When I returned with Alice to my former seat by the window, Rachel had disappeared. No worries, though. We irritated each other, but she wasn't the type to abandon me in a crowded city. The chair practically swallowed Alice. She looked like a doll in her pink trench coat.

"Are you homeless?" She looked at my clothes as if they were the cause of global warming, world hunger, and every war since the beginning of time.

"Maybe," I said. "You seem to be my fairy godmother. Zap me a ball gown."

That got a laugh from her. "Me a fairy?"

"I just can't see you drinking blood."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She pulled a brown paper bag out of her bulky purse and handed it to me.

"Lunch? Thanks, Mom." But when I peeked inside I found a coffee cup. Intrigued, I took a tentative, sip.

"How did you know?" I gasped, gulping down more of my strawberry-banana smoothie.

"I have connections," Alice said, tapping her temple.

I smiled when I finished. "Thanks, Alice. I've been feeling kind of – "

"Crazy?"

"Yes. And no one seems to get why I'm – "

"Freaking out? Overemotional?"

I nodded, sighing. "Alice, my boyfriend, Sam, has been missing for over a week. Other people say he just ran away from home, but I know it's not that simple. Something's happened."

"I'm sorry, Leah. You really did not need this right now."

"No. But I believed you when you said your family would protect me and everyone else." I paused, not sure how to phrase my next question.

Alice cut in, thankfully. "Edward is fine. He returned a few days ago, and I think he'll get through this. Just like you will."

"He didn't…"

"He didn't kill anyone. We're all so relieved. And proud."

That was one weight off my shoulders. I could sleep a little easier, now. Alice leaned forward and placed her cold hand on mine.

"Leah, you're not going insane. Trust your intuition; it's a gift. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

She stood up and handed me a business card. "I'll call you if I see or learn anything. Or just to hang out if you want."

"That'd be great, Alice." Really, I could use a friend, even if she lived off of blood. All I had was a circle of popular kids who didn't really care about me and a pretentious nerd that I currently envied. It's incredible how many people you can know and still be lonely.

She flashed a gleaming smile, then we both sensed Rachel next to us. Her arms were full of another dozen books.

"Hello," Alice greeted excitedly.

"Hey," Rachel replied. "Nice bag. Is that Dior?"

"Yes! Good eye," said Alice, somewhat surprised as she seemed to find Rachel's outfit even more repulsive than mine. Which it was.

Rachel just plopped down into her former seat and started reading. Alice turned back to me.

"I'll call you tonight, Leah. It was nice to meet you Rachel!" She disappeared quickly down an aisle as several men stared after her.

I looked at Rachel, amused. "You still care about fashion?"

"Not enough to put any effort into my own wardrobe. Still, for old times' sake, I do pick up a Vogue now and then."

With a scoff, I looked down at the cream-colored card in my hands. "Alice Cullen, Stylist, Designer, Event Planner." Really, if she wanted to pose as a high school student, she shouldn't be carrying business cards.

I tucked the card into my pocket. I was too tired to read, so I decided to relax until Rachel was ready to go. She sat calmly in her chair, quietly turning the pages of her book. Content, just like excitable, hyper Alice. I too would take a step towards that kind of happiness. With or without Sam.

 **A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. Hope you all are enjoying a wonderful holiday season!**


	7. Insanity

**A/N: Hope you all had a great New Year's Eve! Let this be another beautiful, glorious year. Enjoy!**

I suppose it is fitting to review the beginning. Not when I was born or when I was reborn. This is not the eulogy for a daydreaming youth, strangled with disease. Nor is it the chronicle of a lonely creature's dreary existence. The beginning was when we returned to Forks, Washington and I first encountered her.

Most families in Washington had plain evenings that hardly differed throughout the course of their short lives. The father arrived home with kisses for his wife and children, tired from a long day's work. The mother cooked a healthy, hearty meal. The children played until night, when they were shooed up the stairs. Of course, this is a description from a man behind the times. This image continues to change but never will resemble the nights of my family. As vampires, we had eternal day, even when it when it was dark outside. We were free to do as we pleased until us children had to go to school and our father to work.

That night, I had just finished my honors geometry homework in one minute. To prevent the scrutiny of my crabby teacher, I changed a few answers to incorrect ones. It was frustrating to complete these mind-numbing assignments only to have teachers yell at you for consistently earning perfect scores. We learned quickly, though, how to play dumb and forget assignments.

Downstairs, my family was enjoying one of their quieter times, since most of us were too full from yesterday's hunt to engage in buffoonery (namely Emmett). With my ears and mind's ears, I could make out each of their activities.

Emmett was taunting Jasper, trying to force him into a race to Port Angeles and back. Alice was shopping online while Rose read a car magazine. Esme sketched an elementary school, her latest project. Carlisle was in his study. Despite the little talking, voices still rang in my ears:

 _"Poor guy's so arrogant. Maybe I can double the bet…"_

 _"…old, withered, rotting! He's gonna be so slow. Ha!"_

 _"This would look perfect on Jazz. I hope he doesn't hate the…"_

 _"Please! The cars they put in here aren't even…"_

 _"…unless the district's budget expands…have to speak with…"_

 _"This is the third patient this week complaining of these symptoms."_

I sat on the black leather sofa with headphones over my ears. Progressive metal at top volume was the best for tuning everyone out. The dropped out when I began to close the mental door on them. For a while, it was nothing but me and my music. When I closed my eyes I saw darkness. That is, until, foreign images began to develop. Normally, I would have pushed Alice's mind away, but there was danger in this vision. Someone needed help.

 _A girl, striding through the woods as if it were a sidewalk in the daytime. I would have sworn she was a vampire if it weren't for her slight shiver._

 _A thirsty vampire was in those same woods. He could see the girl, hear her, and above all, smell her._

Alice met me on the stairs. "Let's find the human girl. Emmett already left."

"Shouldn't someone stop the nomad?"

"Carlisle will do it. He's least likely to provoke him."

Some vampires did hate being bossed around. Non-vegetarians tended to be defensive and animalistic, especially loners. Carlisle knew how to be authoritative without controlling others. Still, I felt some responsibility to protect my father. "I should go with Carlisle. I can track him easier and faster than he can. Three of us don't need to find one person."

Alice sighed. "Carlisle doesn't need any help, Edward. Let's not waste time." She sped out the door after our brother.

Couldn't Alice see the logic in my argument? I followed her silently, unwilling to argue. Still, I kept my mind clear for a male voice. While most vampires depended on their advanced senses to search for people, I had the advantage of telepathy. It was embarrassing to glimpse everything running through a stranger's mind, but mind-reading was very useful in situations like these.

Though I was much faster than Alice and Emmett, I let them get ahead of me. I slowed down as I sensed thick, raspy unfinished thoughts. The predator had found human blood and it was driving him insane. Yet something else nagged at him, distracting him enough to slow him down a little. Concentrating harder, I shifted through his brain, discovering a memory.

 _A dark-haired vampire had a massive black wolf around the waist. Both were growling, fighting for control. At some point, the wolf slipped from his opponent's grasp and sped away. The vampire started to chase the animal, but decided against it, probably in favor of hunting._

A wolf that large must be a Quileute shape-shifter, transformed by our presence. Were there others, waiting to attack us? No, the elders wouldn't allow that. We could trust them to uphold the treaty, just as we would. This was a young wolf, probably the first of its generation.

Both of them had slowed when they saw me walking. Alice turned around, her eyes wide with worry. "What did you hear?"

"Nothing relevant."

I passed both of my siblings, trying to make up for slowing us down. Now I tracked with my nose solely as my telepathy seemed to be working as a hindrance. My body was pushing closer and closer to its maximum speed. My muscles tensed, my eyes narrowed, and my mind cleared. Like the others, I focused on the girl. Sweet, strong, clean, warm. Did blood always smell this beautiful? After decades of restraint, this human drew me in as if I were a newborn. My throat ached despite yesterday's hunt. Maybe after we killed the guy I could have her.

Alice grabbed my arm. "What's wrong? Your eyes are black!"

I responded with snarls and hisses that seemed to be out of my control.

"Carlisle!" she called.

He hadn't been far. It was hard for him to track the nomad like I guessed it would be. Without a word, Carlisle pushed me to the ground and pulled my arms behind my back. He motioned for Alice and Emmett to leave me.

Due to being with Carlisle the longest, I valued self-discipline almost as much as he did. He could count on me in situations like these. He was either stronger than I thought, or maybe determination helped him overpower me. Either way, I'm grateful that he prevented an unforgivable murder that night. A small part of me tried to push farther into the dirt, even as I thrashed wildly like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

Still gripping my arms, Carlisle spoke again, very calmly. "Edward, I am going to let you stand now. We are going to leave this area so you can clear your mind. You will not follow that girl or any other human. That is not who you are."

He pulled me up but his grip tightened. I should have stopped breathing. As soon as my face was off the ground, I inhaled that fragrance, only a hundred times stronger. The trees, the ground, Carlisle – everything was hazy, tinged with red. My arms flailed against Carlisle's resolve as he shouted for Alice and Emmett's help.

We saw her at the same time. She was cradled in Emmett's arms like a child, her face conveying her terror. I could catch the muddled images of her encounter with the nomad as she tried to twist out of her protector's arms. Gnashing my teeth like a savage, I strained to get to her and finally free myself from this torture.

Just when I was about to free myself, Carlisle shouted, "Alice! You take her! Emmett, help me! I can't hold him back any longer!"

Emmett grabbed my arm, pulling me away while trying not to rip my arm off. Maybe he should have. The searing pain would have been a good distraction…

When I came back to Forks last Monday, I felt like my old self again. Esme and Alice were overjoyed to see me. I met them on the porch. Esme hugged me gently. She had worried about me during my absence, despite Alice's reassurances that I'd be back. The others were relieved to see me, even Rosalie, though she glanced at me with false disinterest.

The week passed quickly, thankfully. Forks High School was going to feature my most mind-numbing freshman year yet. Everyone seemed to shuffle around in a colorless daze. This only made us Cullens stick out more when we appeared out of nowhere in September. The rumors had died down after two months, but other students still gave us wary glances when they weren't busy ogling us in fascination. And if I had to hear one more teenage fantasy about me or any of my siblings, I was going to drop out next year.

Still, I felt in control. Like the incident, though very recent, was no longer detrimental to anyone's safety. Everything would be, at least, manageable.

The following Sunday, I had gone to a music shop for new CDs. Everywhere we moved, I liked to explore music stores to find something new artists and unusual styles to listen to. Small towns like Forks would surprise you and have an underappreciated singer or rare album. I drove home, humming along to the alternative rock station.

As soon as I turned the music off in my car, Alice's high voice cut in. _So glad she's not wearing sweats. That was hard to witness._

I chuckled as I walked up the path. Alice critiqued everyone's clothes subconsciously, never with malice. She was probably watching reality television again.

 _I wonder if I could do her makeup. She only wears mascara and lip gloss._

That got my attention. I picked up the pace. Who was she talking about?

I threw open the door to see my sister sitting across from a stranger. In our house. Alice had gone insane.

Only, she wasn't a stranger. This was the person who had tormented me as much as I had disturbed her. Even now her blood called to me, but I made no move towards her, thankfully. Perhaps my body had developed some sort of immunity to keep me from going crazy over her again.

She met my gaze, shocked by dramatic entrance. Any sense of decorum had vacated my mind. I stared at her openly, the way other people stared at me. She had almond-shaped brown eyes, framed by thick lashes. Her long hair was dark brown and shiny, even in the dim living room.

 _Just because Leah's gorgeous doesn't mean you should stare, Edward! Close your mouth!_ Alice was giggling, much to my annoyance, though I had made a spectacle of myself.

"Where is everyone?" I asked her.

She pointed to the ceiling. _In their room, hiding from the big, scary human._

I sat against the closest chair, listening to her recount of the past hour. She had invited over the girl without notifying anyone. Carlisle and Esme had been accepting and greeted Leah properly, but both of them quickly went up to their bedroom. Jasper rushed out, too, claiming he was already on his way to a store. Lucky for Alice, Emmett and Rose were gone all weekend, or else she'd never hear the end of it. I smiled a little, thinking of Rosalie's inevitable hysterics when she returned home to the scent of a human.

 _Even more smug in person._ Leah's dark eyes were narrowed as she watched me suspiciously. I was glad I hadn't petrified her, but her aggression was a surprise.

"Let me formally introduce you two. Edward, this is my friend Leah Clearwater. Leah, this is my brother Edward."

Maybe I was insane, too. I held out my right hand. Hesitantly, she lightly grasped it. Her hand was warm and smooth, two very foreign things to me. What would it be like to simply hold it? I shook her hand quickly, not wanting to creep her out more than I already did.

"Hello," she said. It was such a simple word but so important. Her voice was lower than I thought it would be. How old was she? Fifteen, sixteen? She seemed older, though, older than my female classmates, since there was no ridiculous fantasy playing in her mind. Then again, I never tried to kill any of my classmates.

 _Why's he staring at me like that?_ she wondered.

I glanced away, trying to appear normal. "It's nice to meet you, Leah. I apologize for my behavior last Saturday."

Her mind replayed flashes of that night. "Don't even worry about it. Not like you could help it. But…" She leaned forward, and her sweet scent intensified. "If you pull that ever again, I will somehow kill you before you kill me." She was scared, but she meant it.

My voice wasn't as strong as I thought it would be. "Yes, ma'am."

She leaned back content. I saw that she was willing to ignore me as long as I left her alone. "So, Alice. Any word on Sam?"

"No. What did he look like again?"

"Ugh! I told you, longish black hair, dark skin, kinda grumpy…" Leah pictured a tall Quileute boy smiling as he walked towards her. Her boyfriend? I began to examine one of my CDs, pretending to lose interest in their conversation.

"I was joking. Why are you so upset? I thought you were going to break up with him?"

Leah was embarrassed to discuss this with me in the room. "I said I was considering it. Either way, he still is missing and deserves to be found."

I spoke up without realizing it. "You could discuss this with one of your tribal elders."

Both girls had forgotten I was in the room. "I tried," Leah sighed. "He just told me to let it go and keep my mouth shut."

Alice felt awful. "Well I'll let you know if I see anything."

I stared at her. Had she seen anything. Alice averted my eyes. A glimpse of Leah popped up, but she internally recited a chapter from her biology book.

After Leah left, I turned to Alice. "You brought her to our house."

She rolled her eyes, but I knew she felt guilty. "Obviously. Didn't we just see her? Of course you did. You were staring the whole time," she laughed.

I glared hard enough to break her.

 _Fine. I thought if you were around her scent more often, you could overcome your thirst for her. It would strengthen you._

"I suppose it did help," I admitted.

 _I'm glad to hear that._ She made her way to her room.

"But Alice?"

 _Yes?_

"What have you been seeing lately?" My tone begged her for honesty.

My sister looked over her shoulder at me. "Just don't mess anything up, Edward. Be smart. Be open."

"How very cryptic," I grimaced.

"All you need to know is Leah is very important to me. As she will be to you."

"Excuse me?" I started.

"It's a possibility. Now let me call my husband!"

She disappeared leaving me to interpret her message. I leaned against the front door, breathing in the scent of sweet blood that now invaded my own home. The shred of hope I felt building earlier had diminished and confusion took its place. I wanted to release Leah's hold on me so I could be that much less of a monster. Now here was Alice telling me it was only going to strengthen. She had spoken of a possibility, though. Leah Clearwater was only human, and as we were both aware, there is only so much a human can do.


	8. Euphonious

"Want some help with those dishes, Mom?"

"Actually, could you clean – wait a minute, I didn't have to yell at you."

Mom turned fully to look at me, noting my clean, neat hair, ironed clothes, and unwavering smile.

"Oh, Leah," she breathed, pulling me into a hug.

"Yup, back to normal," I mumbled sheepishly.

"Back to yourself." She noticed the keys in my hand. "Going somewhere?"

"Yeah, just getting some air."

"Be home before dinner or you're grounded." There wasn't a trace of humor in her voice and I felt guilty for causing her to be so severe.

With a curt nod, I skipped into the living room in search of my jacket. My father munched on potato chips while watching a sitcom. When I came in, he leaned back into his armchair, his arms crossed tightly.

"You're chipper today," he said.

"It's a nice out." I gestured to the afternoon breeze blowing bright leaves off of trees.

Dad didn't look up from the television screen. "Gonna see your friends?"

"Yup."

"Rachel?"

"No, some girl I met…at a bookstore."

"Your mom might be disappointed. She loves that girl. Guess Seth has to marry Rachel now," he laughed to himself.

I snorted. "What's for dinner?"

"Hopefully, you're mom's frying that chicken." He poured the chip crumbs into his mouth.

"I saw her cleaning the grill."

"Just can't win today, can I?"

Laughing I gave Dad a quick hug and headed out.

It was tempting to roll down the windows and let in the fresh air. For once the music was off in my father's sedan. It was nice to be alone, the only sound the hum of the car. Of course, with nothing to focus on, it was easy to build negativity.

No matter how strange or dangerous, I had to go. The answers were within my reach and I would unearth them. For my sake and Sam's. Whatever was between us may be repaired or shattered, but it would not go unresolved. I would harden myself for any truth or possibility yet to come. With stiff robotic movements, I climbed out of the car and marched to the front door.

 _Knock._ Softly, because of their ears.

 _Knock, knock, knock_. No answer.

 _Knock, knock, knock._ She knew I was coming, she invited me!

 _Knock, knock, knock._ Okay, screw manners.

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG –

My red knuckles halted in the air right in front of Edward Cullen's golden gaze.

"You want me to kiss your hand? This area's not very progressive but I had no idea young people practiced such outdated greetings."

He couldn't have been serious, but I was annoyed with his amused expression. Obviously he heard me at the door. I moved past him, careful to keep some distance between us. "Ha. I wasn't banging on your door like a police officer because I had nothing better to do. Where's Alice?"

"Relax, she had something to pick up," Edward leaned against the piano, a wide smile revealing his straight white teeth. No fangs. Did the vampire that night have fangs? Either one of them could have killed me that night, yet I stand within six feet of one of them…

Who looked as nauseous as I felt.

I headed onto the porch. "Alright, maybe I'll come back in the evening."

He grabbed my arm. "She'll be here soon. I insist, make yourself comfortable."

I looked down at his marble hand, seeping cold thorough my jean jacket. My face must have been terrifying or terrified because he hesitated then dropped his arm in a somewhat awkward fashion.

"Okay," I agreed.

"I'll be upstairs if you need anything. There's food in the refrigerator and the cabinets." He sped up the stairs.

Plopping down onto the piano bench I stared at the spot where Edward had just been. To my side, was his portrait, which did not do him justice. Not in the sense that he was more attractive in person, but I met an awkward teenager not the confident young man in the photograph. Perhaps that was truly my fault, since there was a third side, the one that lay beneath any character or personality trait. What he was, not who he was.

I knew my fair share about multifaceted men. Who said women were complicated?

As if in trance, my fingers slid into position for the opening notes of something long forgotten yet stubbornly clung to. Was it in the key of G or D? Did I speed up at this part? Shouldn't there be a crescendo by now? I started again and again. I managed to get halfway through the first movement before the perfect flow became stagnant. My fist came down on the ivory but the abuse ended when I recalled that this was not my piano nor a cheap one. Stretching my dry bony fingers, I went for it once more. If there was one thing I'd get right lately, it'd be "Moon Dance", my cure-all. This time my gaze went out of focus as I pictured the same story I always imagined for the song. The beginning was dark and foreboding, then light snuck in so quietly you didn't realize it until the end. Like a malevolent God, I banged on the keys with fury, caught up in my story.

 _A little girl was lost in bare open stretches of land under gray sky. Her family had vanished and she was all alone. After walking for days, she reached something but dust – water. The girl, waist deep in, squinting, peered into the ocean._

My hands froze. My mind couldn't hold the next part of the story or the song. I was ready to give up when I felt a shock of cold. Someone's hands underneath mine, placed so smoothly as if they had always been there. Cold hands. Pale hands. Large hands.

"This part used to trip me up, too," he said, almost shyly. His voice came from my right, his breath tickling my neck. I flinched, but didn't withdraw my hands.

He played with admirable confidence, catching each note and coaxing it into its most melodic form. He added embellishments here and there, which only further helped paint my story.

 _The girl leaned into the ocean, and a slimy hand pulled her in. It was that of a mysterious, cloaked figure that pulled her silently through the dark, dangerous sea. The girl gasped when they landed on the ocean floor and the figure removed his hood. To her surprise, it was a friendly young boy. He grabbed her hand and they continued to walk on the ocean floor. Soon they had reached the underwater kingdom, the only place in the dark sea where the moon shined its light. Joyous villagers danced and sang as the children entered. The girl looked up and locked eyes with her mother and father, then ran to hug them._

His fingers paused before drawing out the last few lazy notes. I stared at the glossy black piano lid, buzzed after finding the rest of the tale. My hands remained on his, which remained on the keys.

"Where did you hear that story?" he asked.

"Sort of just unfolded in my brain. Don't you do that? Think about how it feels, not sounds?"

"Yes, but it's only emotions. Never has a complete fairy tale written itself in my imagination."

"Hm. When you grow up hearing legends some are bound to get stuck and swirl together."

"It certainly seemed to help you. How long have you been studying piano?" Almost unconsciously, he began to move our fingers into a child's song.

I snickered softly. "Studying? Okay, I haven't played in years. Can't believe I cranked this one out. Guess you've been studying for centuries, Dracula?"

Edward hit a wrong note, crumbling the harmony. He turned fully to look at me, his face unreadable. I hadn't been sure of the joke when I said it, but I decided to establish some air of friendliness between us.

"Or not," I smirked.

He refocused on the keyboard while I continued to watch him. His hair was pretty messy for a rich kid. Didn't they all keep it neat? His shirt was probably expensive, though you could find a plain blue Henley at Old Navy.

"Decades," he said.

"Hm?"

"Decades not centuries. I think I'd grow bored of the craft before playing that long."

"So you've been alive…"

"I've been dead for about a century, yes."

What it must be like to bottle up that much age…

"And that's how you can stand to be next to me," I murmured. "You're used to it."

"With most people, yes. But with you, in my home, I've taken an extra precaution."

"Gee, you sure know how to make a girl feel special."

"I don't breathe through my nose."

Ew, mouthbreather.

I wouldn't have been able to perceive his laughter if it weren't for his shaking shoulders. This mind reading was going to take some getting used to.

Our hands stilled. "So you plan on getting used to this?"

And it was such a simple question. But I recognized that trace of worry, of bracing oneself for a crash. It was awful that he could hear the whirlpool in my brain, my own repressed fear, how much it was taking me to sit here with him, and my own question of why I didn't just leave. I would be as honest as I could manage.

"We're going to have to see each other anyway as long as Alice is helping me," I said evenly.

Edward sat next to me on the small bench. My hands were still cool. "Right. To find your friend."

"Right," I nodded. "My friend."

"Then I'll help, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, then you never have to return to Dracula's castle again."

"And you'll have me out of your hair forever."

"And what awful hair to be in," he smirked.

"Hey, I…I didn't say that!" I protested weakly.

"No, you thought it."

I growled at him the same way he growled at me that night. Edward blinked in surprise at my audacity.

"Wow, _you're_ scared of _me_?" I laughed.

"I admit that you can be quite fierce, but I wasn't scared."

"Yes, you were."

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were."

"No, I wasn't."

"Then why'd you flinch?"

"I thought you had lost your mind."

"Ugh!"

He smiled triumphantly as he began to play again.

It hadn't been a sunny day to begin with, but the room had grown dim quickly. Edward didn't seem to notice. I watched him play like a concert pianist. He was so talented it was inspiring yet obnoxious.

Another laugh.

He had a nice laugh. Deep and unusually pretty. Most people snickered or cackled, but he sounded like he was singing. His hair looked better in the dark, too. Not so odd, just auburn. Was that it?

No, "auburn", didn't do him justice.

Not in the sense that his hair was better than "auburn".

The word just didn't capture him.

Later, I would leave the house with the sense that someone crossed the line.

Later, I would feel glad someone did.

 **A/N: Thank you for waiting patiently for the update.**


	9. Dirty Books and Shifty Looks

When one remains young for decades, life feels endless. Time speeds down a highway, never slowing down in a small town, save for a few select moments.

For me, those select moments included high school. On Friday, each minute seemed like an hour. Alice evaded me all day, gossiping about our silly classmates at lunch and reading a book during the car ride home. She didn't have to read minds to know I was irritated with her. When we got home, she marched upstairs to her bedroom. I tried to give her some space but ended up following her a minute later.

Without invitation, I flung open the door. "So how long are you going to keep lying to Leah?"

Alice didn't even look up from her sewing machine. _Get out._

I moved farther into the room. "It's not fair of you to string her along like this. Pretending to be her friend – "

"I'm not pretending to be her friend!" Alice stormed over to me so fast you'd think I'd slandered Jasper. She looked ready to tear off my head and burn it.

"Hey, hey, okay, so you're really friends," I said, shepherding her back to her desk. "I just want to know why you're giving her false hope. She thinks we're really going to find her friend."

"And when I took on this task, I intended to do just that," my sister replied as she placed fine fabric under the machine.

"Didn't you find it suspicious that you couldn't see him?"

"It's not completely reliable; you know that. Besides, I've never met the boy. I was working off of a little photograph from Leah."

"It makes sense that you wouldn't be able to see your natural enemy's actions."

"I don't think like you, Edward. And if you're so smart, why didn't you tell me you saw a wolf in the nomad's thoughts?"

"Leah's scent distracted me," I admitted, more than a little ashamed.

"Right," she winced.

"It's fine." I had no right to blame her for all of this. "I should have told everyone; I just didn't imagine it'd be connected to Leah. I wasn't sure until yesterday. I guess you weren't, either."

"Well, any friend of Leah's is a friend of mine."

I was thankful _she_ couldn't read _my_ mind because I was thinking about how idiotic she sounded. "But that's clearly not going to happen, especially now that Samuel Uley has phased. So how do we explain this to her?"

"I don't intend to," she said. _It's selfish, but I can't be the one to tell her she's dating a magical creature, a werewolf of all things! She's already so overwhelmed, and she's so young, and I just feel so bad for –_

I held up a hand before Alice's thoughts became chaotic. "Alright, I get it. But we've got bigger problems than that."

 _What now?_

"Samuel Uley is likely the first of his generation. What if he gets himself killed? Another nomad could – "

"Edward, you worry far too much about what's going to happen."

"Easy for you to say. You _know_ what's going to happen."

"I may know some things, but all is not lost for you poor souls. Everyone can control something."

 _NOW GET OUT._

I left her bedroom/workshop, wishing she'd had a better solution than feigning ignorance. As I listened to Vivaldi in the living room, I felt worse and worse that Leah was worrying about Sam while we knew exactly what happened to him. Sure, she'd said he was a jerk, but she must still care about him. Then again, humans didn't feel like vampires did. They were fickle, even with love. I'd just have to count on Leah to be strong enough until Sam returned…if he returned.

It was almost four. Carlisle would start a shift at the hospital soon. Maybe we could talk more about the Quileute wolves. I didn't learn much about them in that brief meeting decades ago, but Carlisle probably knew more than I did. He could help me determine when Sam would return to his human form. Did he have to spend time developing as a wolf? Or was he just worried about the –

Someone yanked my headphones off. I turned around to see Queen Rosalie glowering at me as if I were a peasant. While I'd been frustrated with Alice all day, I barely noticed her frustration with me. When Alice invited Leah over last Sunday, our siblings expressed their annoyance with us in various ways. Jasper had started (and lost) an argument with Alice. Emmett grumbled about how hard it was to focus on his new video game when "the whole damn house smelled like dinner". Rosalie was angrier with me than Alice, just because of her natural disdain for me. Esme asked Alice to meet with Leah elsewhere in the future. Apparently, I had inadvertently violated that rule by letting Leah in for a bit and was about to suffer the wrath of Rose.

"Why the hell did you bring a _human_ in my house?" she hissed.

I stood up and moved into a defensive stance. Rose has never tried to fight me, but she has screamed in my ear many times, which is way worse. (Very) deep down, loved her as much as my other siblings, but her haughtiness and temper was really hard to tolerate some days.

"Rosalie, I apologize for disturbing the tranquility of our home by letting a harmless girl stay for a few minutes to wait for her friend," I said.

"You don't have to be such a smartass! It's bad enough we had to stop you from killing her. Now you and Alice think the three of you will be best friends!"

"Trust me, that's not happening," I interjected, but she ignored me.

"What if she gets freaked out and tells the whole town about us?"

"Listen, he's dating a Quileute shapeshifter. When she learns his secret, she'll stay quiet about the supernatural world."

"Do you ever think? What if he doesn't tell her? She won't understand. We're going to be out of here by next week just because you can't control yourself!"

"I can control myself just fine, Rosalie," I seethed.

"Please! You're not Carlisle, Eddie. It's only so long before you snap and bite her – "

"You ready, Rose?" Emmett sauntered into the main room and placed a hand on his wife's arm. Instantly, her anger dissolved. He was like her own personal Jasper, at times.

"Yep." Rose smiled lovingly at Emmett before leaning towards me. "This isn't over. I'm not letting you put everyone's happiness at risk." She stormed outside with a ridiculous sense of triumph.

I turned to Emmett. A grim expression was so foreign on his face. He had been debating a talk with me all day. "What is it?"

"Look, man, I'm not here to get on your case, or anything…" he started.

"…but she's got a point."

"So you agree?" _I don't want to fight with you,_ he added.

"That our secret may be revealed due to our recent interactions with Leah? Yes."

"Then what are you going to do, now that she knows?" my brother ventured.

"Wait." Honesty never hurt. That much.

Emmett huffed at my insufficient answer. _You sure have gotten us all into one big…_

"Em, you were just as ready to help her as Alice was that night. We had no choice but to confirm what she already would have suspected. Don't turn against us because the brat is throwing another tantrum."

Emmett shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. My bitterness bothered him.

"I apologize," I said.

"Eh, me too," he shrugged and just like that we were cool again. "What does Carlisle think?"

"I don't really want to know." For days, I'd been avoiding Carlisle, worried what he'd have to say. It was infantile, but I was conveniently absent when he came home, which was easy considering his busy schedule.

Emmett clapped me on the back sympathetically before following Rosalie. _Don't worry, bro. No one's as scary as Rose_.He had a faint memory, back in the 70s, of Rose verbally destroying a gaggle of young women who dared to flirt with Emmett in front of her. I chuckled at her colorful language and feathered hairstyle. So he wasn't exactly diluted when it came to Rose.

"You mean psychotic?" I smiled.

"I think it's cute. You'll understand when you're my age."

It was his favorite joke between us, since physically, I'd never be his age, yet technically, I was the "older brother". We laughed heartily as we parted ways.

It didn't take long for Carlisle to find me, probably since I wanted him, too. If I truly wanted to be alone, I'd stay in my room, listening to music. Instead, I announced that I was going hunting before strolling into the woods. I was sitting by a small pond when he approached to me.

"Why, I don't think I've seen you for days, Edward." He didn't sound accusatory, just slightly amused.

"That was by my own orchestration. But I'm ready now." I stood up and faced him. He was in his work attire, probably about to leave for a night shift. Hopefully, whatever he had to say was brief.

"I'm surprised you haven't heard me by now. Either my mind has strengthened enough to build a wall or you're wearing ear plugs," he joked.

I didn't return his smile. "I did not want to know what you thought of my actions or situation, but I now accept any consequences."

 _Consequences?_  
"If you want me to leave to prevent me hurting the human girl, Leah. Just a precaution."

"Edward, Alice tells me you've interacted with her, even shook her hand. Yesterday, were you not home alone with her? You ignored an opportunity to hurt her. I've never known a vampire that repeatedly spared his or her singer."

I was so accustomed to others' nonverbal, unnecessary interruptions that my own came as a surprise. Something escaped, not from his brain, but mine. _The sweet-smelling girl downstairs, cautious, but defenseless…My pained throat would be soothed…_

I sighed. "But…yesterday…."

"Yes?" His serene mind was clear, prepared for me to speak.

"At first, I wanted to…when she arrived…I thought about…"

"And instead you...?"

"I stopped breathing," I said stupidly.

"You _let her live_ ," he corrected me.

I took a minute to mull over Carlisle's words.

"I can do this," I began.

"Yes, you can, son."

"But what if she can't?"

"There is nothing _humane_ we can do to prevent Leah from speaking. However, I dare to say we deserve her trust, as we saved her life and confided in her. She must know that. But I've never met her. What do you think?"

What did I think of her? At a glance, a slightly insane young woman. She was brave, a relief for all of us. Aesthetically attractive, not that I was planning on courting her. Emotionally attractive, too. I'd been trying not to read her mind, but everything she thought was so vibrant. Yesterday, I just wanted to see if I could handle being in the same building alone with her. I'd never planned to sit by her, or touch her; she'd unknowingly roped me in. Another unnecessary interruption. _Warm, soft hands resting on mine…_

"She seems very intelligent and calm," was my robotic answer. "That's one problem out of the way, at least."

"That helps, but, Samuel Uley could propose a complication. Are you sure he has shifted?"

"Alice got an old shirt of Sam's from Leah yesterday. We ran for hours trying to catch the scent anywhere, but it was like he vanished."

 _So you looked for his mind._

"Yes," I continued. "And what do you know, he's not too far from where we stand. He's terrified, of what he's become, of the nomad that almost killed him. He was thinking about Leah, too. And we can't do anything for him."

"I'm glad you didn't approach him. He might have attacked you."

"We figured that. As soon as we realized what had happened, we returned home."

We stared at the shallow pond in front of us.

"How will he return to human form?" I asked.

"I don't know as much about the Quileute wolves as I'd like. I'm fairly certain, though, that the wolf form takes practice to control. It could be weeks until Samuel trains himself to shift back."

"Perfect. Now Leah's going to be stressed out for weeks and Alice refuses to say anything."

Carlisle gave me an odd look. " _You_ could tell her."

"I doubt she wants to hear it from me. This will grieve her tremendously."

"Or relieve her."

I scoffed. "What kind of complication, Carlisle?"

"When he returns to La Push and visits Leah, he may gather our connection to her…"

"Which will upset him, I assume."

Carlisle chuckled darkly. "To say the least. But the Quileutes know we mean no harm. They won't start a war without cause."

His watch beeped twice. "Going in now, son. Don't stay out here too long or Esme will worry." He gave me a quick hug before speeding back home.

Life used to be endless. But I learned the exact moment I was going to die. It would be Saturday night.

We'd only moved back to Forks in August, so we were met with a few sunny days. We didn't go out much until October, trying to keep as low a profile as possible. Now that most people have grown used to us and the days were much cloudier, we were beginning to leave the house more often. It was a tiresome pattern with every town.

I went to the oldest and largest bookstore in Washington. It had been old when I frequented it back in the thirties, so it was relatively ancient. Sitting in the aged house of literature made me feel young and new to this world. It was also refreshing after being crammed into Fork's tiny stores. This would be my third and most anticipated visit since our return.

Before entering, I pulled on the hood of my black sweatshirt. The place had opened only two minutes before my arrival. That was deliberate – I couldn't tolerate anyone's intrigue and delayed fear right now. I heard employees shuffling around in the storage room. The only person in the shop was stout, curly-haired woman standing on a ladder to stock a shelf. She held a large box under her left arm while her right stretched to place another book. As I passed her, the book slipped from her hand. Without thinking, I leaned over and snagged it out of the air.

I cursed myself, realizing that she must have seen the entire action, supernatural speed and all. However, when I looked up at the lady she was grinning as if she saw things like that all the time…or never had seen it all. Upon inspection of her features, I realized she had a prosthetic right eye.

Her wrinkled, wide face broke into a smile, "Thank you, dearie!"

I hesitated for a fraction of a second, just staring at the old woman. I was expecting her to mumble a thank you then cringe away from me as if I were holding a machete. _That_ was normal. Instead she looked at me as if I were her grandson, a nice, normal young man.

This time, I was the one to mumble an answer and hurry away from her. Her thoughts didn't follow me very far. Images were blurry, ideas were irrelevant. Perhaps she was much older than I had guessed.

Despite knowing what I wanted and locating my selections easily, I decided to stay and read. The atmosphere was more cozy than ever, with the only sounds the routine movement and thinking of clerks and stockers. I carried a few novels to a dark corner of the building and settled into a pea green armchair. Once I plunged into the lives of fictional characters everyone disappeared, including me. Around six, other customers began to trickle in or out. Some gave me curious looks when they passed me. I must have looked very strange to them. I looked strange everywhere.

The heroine of my first book was about to enter battle though she was still healing from her young daughter's death. As I flicked the page to the next chapter, something tickled, or maybe, taunted my nose. I tried to continue reading but the small was more intense, cruel as it danced closer then farther from me, setting fire to my throat. In a moment of bravery, I inhaled deeply. Yes, I knew exactly who that was. In a trance, I moved carefully to the middle of the closest aisle and waited.

She walked too fast, almost frantic, like she was searching for a lost child. I braced myself for our meeting. This time, I would breathe. Her magnetism would not be the net to enmesh me.

Two steps. Pause. Four now. Turning the corner and...

"Oh! Hey," she said.

"Leah. It's nice to see you again." I was still perfecting a smile that didn't disturb most humans, so I never gave one intentionally. Instead, I nodded stiffly, trying to look peaceable. It probably worked, because she shortened some of the distance between us until we were only a few feet apart.

"It's nice to see you, too. How's Alice?"

"She is well." I wished I could say the same about the others. "I must warn you, though. She plans to take you shopping on your next visit. That's a weekend-long activity for Alice."

"Actually, that sounds awesome. It's a girl thing, Edward. We all love fashion." She paused, looking down at her grey sweatshirt and black leggings. "Just…not at six in the morning."

I laughed with her, as if I was just as normal. How I could laugh at all with a burning throat, I do not know. Her blood smelled stronger when she moved, but I would tolerate it. I would not hurt her or anyone else.

"So what brings you to Furati Fortitudo?" I asked.

Leah lifted an eyebrow, though an unsure smile played on her lips. _Uh, what?_

"It's the name of this place. I know, no sign out front, right? It's Latin for "stolen treasure"."

"Ah, it fits, doesn't it? Someone must have stolen all these books. Nobody around here could be rich enough to buy all this…except for you."

"Except for me," I echoed, matching her smirk.

"If you own this place, can I get a seventy-five percent discount?" She batted her eyelashes in mock flirtation. The word "yes" almost slipped out my mouth. I turned slowly and began to walk back towards my seat. Leah silently followed.

Our interaction, less than forty-eight hours, ago had must have established more trust than I originally assumed. Not only had my self-doubt diminished, but somehow, her hostility towards me was fading. When I actively listened to her mind, I was relieved to see she wasn't enamored with me like a few harebrained women. Still, it was troubling. She wasn't infatuated with me or recoiling away. Most likely, this was the treatment a human generally received.

"Actually, I tried to buy this establishment a number of years ago," I started once she had curled up on the couch next to my armchair.

 _When?_ In her head, she saw me in Medieval English raiment. She must be a terrible history and math student. Perhaps she had not purposely asked, but reflexively I responded to her unvoiced question.

"Decades back. But the owner's always been very…elusive."

"Meaning?"

"Every time I got hold of a number, it was the wrong one. The workers acted shifty, but they truly knew almost nothing about their employer, either."

"Huh. Good. It would've looked weird, anyway. A teenager trying to buy a store? It's like you want to be caught," Leah chided.

"No, I didn't go to school here yet. If I bought it, I would have adopted the guise of Carlisle's younger brother."

Now she was very carefully holding in a giggle. "You can't be more than sixteen."

"Seventeen, actually. But I'm in my freshman year so we can stay longer," I explained.

 _Heh. Dumbass._

Leah's hands flew to her mouth. "Wait," she said. She put two hands on either side of her head.

"Don't worry. It was rather amusing," I smiled before I could stop myself.

"Seriously, can you ever turn it off?"

"No, I can hear everyone that's close. Keep in mind my definition of 'close' is very different than yours."

"That must suck."

"It does help some…okay, you're right. More often than not it sucks. Especially at school."

"Ugh, yeah, I'd hate to hear my classmates' thoughts all day!" She rolled her eyes.

"Believe me, it's worse when they're thinking _of_ you."

She caught on quick. "Yeah, some girls are so desperate they'll lust after every cute guy they see."

She froze, as still as a vampire. _Did I really just say that?_

Immediately, her wild eyes flew to me, as if there was any possibility I hadn't heard her. My face was an icy mask of indifference but that didn't stop Leah.

"Shut up," she rasped.

She shouldn't have done that. It wasn't in my nature to follow directions. When I finally stopped laughing, I looked up to meet her glare.

"I would fight you if I were strong enough," she spat.

"It's not my fault I'm so attractive." It was the truth.

"I wasn't saying you were cute, I was saying _some_ girls might think so!"

"Then what do you think?" I locked eyes with her, anticipating a snappy response. Instead her eyes stared blankly back into mine. Humans moved slowly, but after a few seconds I began to worry. Her cheekbones and smooth skin were beginning to remind me of a sculpture. Had I killed her? No, her mind buzzed like a machine.

I said her name once and she jumped to life. She groaned, rubbing her temples. "Ugh, I didn't sleep well last night. Need some coffee."

"You shouldn't be driving, then."

"Neither should you, freshman."

"This town is so small no one cares what I do."

 _I doubt that._

I was about to reply when I noticed an unwavering presence. I turned to see the old, curly-haired woman from earlier. She didn't look threatening, with her short stature and stooped posture, but I sensed at once she was not at all ordinary. Her thoughts were guarded, for when I inspected her mind, I only saw myself from her view. I stood up ready to approach her, but Leah gasped.

"Is this what I think it is?" She held the book I'd been tearing through since I arrived.

"Leah!" I made no motion to snatch it away, not wanting to accidently harm her, not when I was just beginning to win her over.

"Rebel in Blue: A Warriors Novel by Jordan Guy." She inspected the sword-wielding redheaded woman on the cover. "Wow." She wiggled her eyebrows. _Is this a dirty –_

"No, it's a young adult fantasy novel with a positive female protagonist with themes of feminism, sacrifice, religion, and…"

Leah was staring at me as if were ripping the pages out of my unpurchased books. "Who _are_ you?"

"After the seventh or eighth read, a classic becomes very dry. Everything has been analyzed. Passages are stuck in your head. Sometimes I like to pick up something new, see what everyone else is reading," I explained. I forced myself to hold her gaze. Why should a human make me feel embarrassed?

We sat in near silence, until she directed another thought towards me.

 _Jordan Guy wrote Bishops and Pawns. I love that book._

Her sheepish expression told me I was being gifted with a deep secret. It was in that moment I knew I would die. At my family's hands, no doubt. Because I did not want to tolerate Leah's scent. I didn't want to just help her find Samuel. I wanted to be her friend.

I wanted to be her friend forever.

Once I nodded to confirm my secrecy, she continued to inspect the book with genuine interest. I turned back to see the old woman had vanished. My suspicion of her would not.

"Woah, this one scene is a little – "

I turned back to Leah and held out my hand. "Do you want a coffee or not?"


	10. You Came

**A/N: Sorry this took so long. A lot has been happening in my life. I will try to make more time for writing in the future so this story can be wrapped up. Enjoy!**

On Saturday night, I collapsed into bed at eight o' clock with a faint smile on my face. So much sleep had been lost in the past week, so many nights were my eyes wide open as the sun took over the moon's shift. Exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale. Wait, it's too bright. Grasping for the lamp, something cold and metal tickled my palm. I brought the object to my face. My – no, _the_ bracelet. Shuddering, I tossed the trinket into the bottom drawer of my nightstand. I turned over to face the window and was met with the burning light of the moon. It lulled me to sleep the way a sunny day summons a nap.

This night, I would not play the awful, pathetic dream of Sam leaving me. And if by practice, I once again dreamed of being abandoned, let's chalk it up to a bad habit. It would not hurt any more, I don't think. I'd have to care a lot more in order to be hurt by him.

A week later, Dad had woken me up (too) early and rushed me out the door for an "epic adventure". We were going to partake in what Dad considered the great Native American pastime: fishing. When he announced we were almost at the lake, I asked, "Dad, is there any particular reason you asked me to come with you?"

"What, a father can't have a day out with his only daughter?" He kept his eyes on the foggy road. I didn't remember using this route. Perhaps it was a newly discovered shortcut. Or maybe it was always this way. I hadn't been there in years.

"Isn't fishing part of father-son bonding?"

"Didn't you say you were a feminist? Wanted to be the first female president?"

"That was middle school," I laughed. "And I know girls can fish. Mom does."

"You used to enjoy it, too. Thought you could use some air."

"Nothing like clouds and fog to lift your spirits," I said.

"We can stop at McDonald's on the way home."

"Now you're talking."

We were at a small lake, the closest one to the rez. I remembered bits and pieces of fishing when I got a look at the murky water that had once seemed so endless and powerful. We sat in comfortable silence, Dad catching several fish and me lost in thought, watching. Dad gave me a confused look when he saw I had not thrown in my line yet.

"This is about you and Mom," I whispered. I wore a mask of "realization". This was a surefire way to get Dad to talk. Assume the worst.

"What about us?" My poor old father looked a little worried.

"Dad, you guys can't divorce over a few silly fights here and there." I blinked quickly as if I were about to start crying. I'm pretty sure I just looked like the tragedy mask.

"D-d-divorce? Whoa, honey, don't you think if your Mom wanted out I'd be home begging on my knees until she changed her mind?"

"Then what was so serious we couldn't invite Mom or Seth?"

Dad reeled in his line then turned to face me. "Leah…I wanted to talk to you about that _boy_."

"Oh…Ugh! For the millionth time, I'm fine." I was proud when I realized I meant what I said.

"But you took his disappearance pretty hard at first," Dad frowned.

"Look, no offense, but I don't know if I want to talk about this with you."

"Oh, come on. Even old dads remember what it's like to be young and in love. I did sweep your mother off her feet after all."

"I applaud your bravery. That must've been a challenge." I laughed.

"Yup, she fought me tooth and nail, but here we are with two beautiful children."

"Somehow, I doubt that'll be me and Sam. You would've never done this to Mom."

"I'm sure Sam's problems must be very serious for him to take off, Leah," he said.

"Ha!"

"I think you should at least hear him out before you freak out. Not that I'd blame you." Dad paused to reel in a large trout. "Don't think I'm not angry with him. Next time I see him, I'm going to kick his scrawny little – "

"Yeah, same." I felt a smile creeping on my lips.

"Like father, like daughter," Dad said. We snapped to attention when my line was tugged. "Okay," he said. "First you got – "

"Yeah, yeah, I've done this a thousand times," I mumbled.

An hour later, it began to drizzle so we headed back to the car chatting like good friends. My father and I hadn't discussed school and movies and random things in forever. It was like we were pen pals over the last few years and the fishing trip was an anticipated visit.

"Can we go to the mall after we eat?" I asked as we placed our gear in the truck.

"I don't know if we have time."

I sighed. "What is it now?"

"I just have an errand. At the doctor's." Dad hurriedly got in the front seat and started the car.

"But you don't go to the doctor, not for anything! It's just a check-up, right? You're not – "

"Nothing's wrong. I just didn't want your mother to come and bite her nails in the waiting room. I love her but she's a cynic." Dad's smile didn't reach his eyes. "Doctor will examine, say I got to lose the weight, eat the lettuce. I'm just making sure. Now your mother won't worry as much."

We pulled away, falling into a silence, though not as comfortable as the one on our way to the lake. I put in my earbuds (Dad loved rock but preferred to drive without music) and thought the situation over. Was Dad really okay? He ate a bunch of crap, but what middle-aged man didn't, (excluding actors)? He went to work every day, but his hobbies were mostly sedentary – fishing, watching baseball, watching football…He sure enjoyed staring and sitting. I allowed myself a laugh. Just then, the car swerved a little on the path out of the woods surrounding the lake.

"Dad!" I turned to swat Dad's arm, but nearly crumpled when I saw him clutching his chest. The car swerved farther when Dad's left hand slipped off the steering wheel. Moving quicker than I ever did, I unbuckled my seatbelt and took over, parking our car off to the side. My father struggled to breathe. His arms no longer grasped his chest but laid limp by his sides. "No," I gasped.

I hopped out the car and ran to the other side. I tugged and towed my father out of the car. His expression dulled and softened, not in peace, in resign. I grunted in frustration. _Why him? Why now?_ Struggling to put what little knowledge I had to use, I began to push on Dad's chest. Tears dripped on his T-shirt, blending in with raindrops. The weather worsened, wetting my already heavy, long hair. My elbows buckled and I feared I would lose this battle. "Dad, please! Say something!"

I was gently and quickly pushed away from my father. Edward gave me a curt nod. "Call 911." He began to resuscitate Dad, moving at a rapid, unwavering pace.

"Don't! You're going to kill him! You're going to kill him!" For a brief irrational moment, I pried at Edward's arms, too scared to feel any relief or gratitude. His sudden arrival shocked me and my mind was a mess as it was.

Edward's hands continued to pump my father's heart. "You weren't pushing hard enough."

"You're too strong! You need to stop!"

Edward kept his eyes down, but his voice hardened with authority. "You are going to have to trust me and give your father a chance. Now call 911, we lost enough time as it is!" Edward nodded towards his cell phone in the dirt.

I nodded, stiff with shame and regret, and did as I was told.

I wasn't cold, as one might expect I'd be, after sitting in the rain. I was warm, as if I'd been trapped in a burning building, suffocating and panicked. Warm, as if Death had just released me from an embrace. In the hallway, Mom sat looking like a doll, her feet planted firmly on the floor, her hands folded on her lap. I knew what she was doing inside. She was ranting about Dad's lack of care for his health. She was also praying for his life. Seth's head rested on my left shoulder. At times, I can't help looking at his innocent face and picturing his toddler-self, banging pots and drawing on the walls. When he and Mom arrived, he was silent, a rarity for him. Seth simply sat down next to me, his young face terrified.

The three of us sighed in unison when the doctor confirmed Dad's survival. He went on and on but I was busy putting my mind back together after I almost lost it completely. "I'm going to grab a drink. You want anything?" I asked Seth, Mom was listening intently to the doctor and firing off questions for his every statement.

"I'm fine," Seth sniffled, trying to recover the little toughness he thought he had.

I didn't exactly know where the cafeteria was but that gave me time to clear my head as I turned left, right, right, left, sometimes going in circles. I passed several rooms with families gathered tight around a loved one. A husband clutched his wife's hand and regarded her blank face. Two young women whispered to each other at the foot of an elderly woman's bed. At the end of the hall, a man in his forties rested in his room, the shades drawn and the television off. No one stood by his side.

A seat suddenly seemed like a good idea. Across the hall was a small prayer room. I almost turned right back out when I noticed someone in the back row, his palms pressed together in fervent prayer. His head snapped up, and bright, amber eyes shone through the dim light. We both hesitated, suddenly unsure. Without a word, I slipped into the pew, sitting right next to him. Edward leaned back in his seat, relaxing slightly. On a tapestry the Virgin Mary smiled lovingly at us despite our stony gazes.

"Do you – ", Edward started.

I shushed him. Surely he knew everything, had turned over the pieces in my mind, probably in my father's, too. Still, he screwed up his face in frustration. Gently, I leaned my head on his shoulder, a soft _thank you_ drifting across my mind and beating under my heart.

"What the hell…" I mumbled.

Mom bit her lip, looking even more stressed out than before. "Do you want me to get rid of him?"

I shook my head and got out the car before I could think too much about it. Mom told me they'd be at a neighbor's and she reluctantly drove away. In seconds, I was standing in front of Sam Uley, glaring up at him. He grimaced but stood straight and didn't look away. Had he always been this tall? He was never short, but now my neck craned up farther than before to look into his face.

"Where were you?" I fought to keep my voice steady.

"Leah, I am sorry." He stepped forward and I instinctively moved back.

"Where were you?" I repeated.

"I would've been – "

"Where _were_ you?!" My voice was sharp against the soft gray sky.

Sam took a shaky breath, as if he was in as much pain as I'd been these past few weeks. His gaze dropped to the wooden floor. "Something's wrong with me."

"Are you sick?" I felt my throat tighten at the thought of death and hospitals.

"I don't know if I can put it into words, but I don't feel good…mentally. Maybe it's all that crap that went down when my when my father called last month. I've just been so stressed…I think I'm losing my mind."

"Sam…"

"I'm going to talk to the elders. I'll be fine." His hands twisted at his sides.

"When did you get back?" I wondered.

"Uh, a couple days ago. Three, I think."

"Oh." I tried not to look so crushed.

"My mom heard about your dad so I came over here."

I turned away, carefully examining the nearest tree.

"I'm sorry," Sam said, wrapping his arms around me, as he'd done countless times.

"Where were you? Why did you leave?" I sobbed, I felt my mask of calm melting away. I wished I was more like my mother, so strong and stable.

Sam shushed me, gently but firmly holding me close. A bit of bitterness made me want to run but my last bolt of energy was carried off with the wind. I could feel my body weakening as if to deem this moment acceptable.

Gradually, my heart did too.

 **A/N: Review, favorite, and follow! Y'know, if you want to. No pressure. ;-***


	11. You Can Run

When I was four (and I only remember this because Dad retells the story like it's a legend), I told my father I wanted to move to Disneyland.

"That's pretty far. Maybe we can visit one day," was my father's cheery reply. He was pushing me on a swing at the reservation's only playground.

"Okay! But I'm going to move there when I grow up and marry a prince!" I giggled.

"You would make a wonderful queen," Dad mused, pushing me closer to the sky.

When I was eleven, princes were replaced with celebrities and to me they were just as attainable. Me, Rebecca, and occasionally Rachel would pour over magazines, carefully selecting our future husbands and the adventures we'd share with them. I began to build my ideal man, his physical traits, at least. Deep down, though, I knew I would marry someone from the rez, like my mother and grandmother did. We'd move into a house close by his parents and mine. No matter my career, I knew I would be a homemaker during my children's early years if not for their entire childhood. The idea didn't sound very appealing until my first serious relationship. Sam made me feel like it'd be easy – our shared heritage, goals, and values, wrapped in a simple, constant love. And that was enough to rival any fairytale or fantasy.

I snapped out of my saccharine reverie. I didn't like to sort things out while I ran – the purpose was to elevate my mood, that's all. Dad's heart attack was over a month ago. Since then I've been his personal trainer, taking him to the Forks High School track a few times a week. (There wasn't a track on the rez.) He was very willing to do anything to aid his recovery. He was very slow at first but he completed his mile without complaints. Mom helped a lot. She was even stricter about the grocery list than before. (Seth and I still missed the soda and ice cream sometimes. Once, we snuck away to get cheeseburgers at a fast food joint, but other than that, we supported Dad wholeheartedly.)

Mom took Dad to see a dietician (even though she was taking care of him just fine, she wanted to be sure) so this afternoon I was alone. I was free to go faster, so fast I felt like I was flying, not even moving my legs at all. My feet seemed to barely touch the ground. Whereas the speed of Alice's car had made me feel weak and wary, the speed of my own feet made me feel powerful.

The sun was still out as I waited for my ride, jogging in place to stay warm. Next time, I'd have to layer sweatpants over my leggings. I was moving on to jumping jacks when a silver Volvo pulled up to the curb. Instinctively, I took a few steps back, inspecting the car. Edward Cullen, of all people, gracefully got out the car, walked to the other side, and opened the door like a chauffeur. I didn't move immediately. This was not what I wanted or needed.

Edward cleared his throat. "I understand if you would like to continue exercising," he joked.

Hilarious. He could read my mind and remain oblivious to my feelings. I rolled my eyes and settled into the seat, taking comfort in the warmth of the car. Edward got back in and started the engine. I was starting to feel a little comfortable when Edward turned down the music.

"May I ask you a question?"

"You're already doing it," I huffed.

"I'm not trying to annoy you."

"Why did you come? I asked _Alice_ for a ride."

"Technically, she did arrange a ride for you. You never asked for a specific driver."

"Clearly, I wanted her to drive!"

"Not all of us have telepathy," he chuckled.

"Well, I called _her._ Did I call you?" I snapped.

"We could exchange numbers if you like. Mine is two oh – "

"No."

We were far from from the high school when Edward spoke again.

"You could walk."

"Gladly."

As luck would have it, Edward stopped the Volvo on an empty street with no buildings or people in sight. I turned to look at him but he was already on my side, opening the passenger door. I ignored the hand he held out and stormed over to the curb.

Instead of driving away like I expected, Edward drove slowly to match my pace. "You look like a real wierdo doing that."

"I'm ensuring you arrive home safely."

"Oh – you just – ugh!"

"Well said."

"Just when I was beginning to like you."

"You wound me."

"Let me walk in peace."

"We'll get to the reservation much sooner if you get in."

"No thank you, I like the cold."

"This is ridiculous. At this rate, you'll be late for dinner. That is, if you arrive at all."

In a sense, it was cruel, though later I would realize he had my well-being in mind. He knew what I feared the most. He'd been in my head, experienced that night when I was almost… What had Emmett said? Drained? I suddenly wanted desperately to get off the long, soulless, woodsy street where thick trees shadowed the road. Who knew what might be watching me, waiting for me? I was lucky that night, when Alice and Emmett saved me. There could be some worse creature that even people like Edward could not handle.

I made my decision. I almost ran to the passenger side only to find the door locked. I went back over to Edward's window when he still didn't open it.

A fake smile was plastered on my face. "Eddie. It would be ever-so kind of you to open the door."

"Answer my questions," he said.

His glare matched mine in ferocity. I leaned closer, unwilling to be intimidated by him, even if he was stronger, older, and maybe a little smarter. Then, suddenly, his face softened and he slid over into the passenger seat. "Go ahead."

After only five minutes of driving I was starting to feel the exhaustion from my run. I had pushed myself too hard today. Running was becoming my drug and I couldn't tell if that was bad or good. It helped me forget about all the crap going on in my life with…

"Open your eyes!" Edward's cold hand gripped my arm, ready to spring into action.

"They're open, they're open," I grumbled, straightening my posture and tightening my grip on the wheel. I glanced over at my quasi-friend to see him looking out his window, which was annoyingly rolled completely down despite the cold. Ugh, I should have made "keep the car warm" part of the deal. Was he falling asleep? Had he forgotten about those damn questions?

A smooth voice answered. "No and no."

"I'm waiting," I replied in a sing-song voice. "We'll be at my stop before you know it."

"You know what I want to know."

"Pick my brain then. I'm an open book around you."

"Picking your brain won't make you feel any better," he countered and with that I relented. I did want to feel better.

"So?"

"So. Why did you ask Alice for a ride?"

"Got a problem with me talking to Alice?"

"No, I just assumed that you wouldn't want anything else to do with us now that you found Sam. Most people keep their distance and they don't even know our secrets."

"If you really want to know, my parents are having dinner in Port Angeles. Guess someone else would've picked me up, but I don't feel like talking to anyone right now. And, yeah, Sam's back, but it's not the same." I tried to explain my meeting with Sam last month to Edward, in addition to showing him clips and words in my mind.

"Ah" was all Edward said when he heard my story. His expression was too closed off to read.

 _Is that all?_ Once I started talking to him in my head it was hard to stop.

"I'm a little surprised. You decided to stay together?"

I frowned. "I guess I didn't show you that part. It was awful." The words felt hollow and stale in my mouth. Awful did not even cover it. Sam had plunged back into his old routine. He didn't miss another day of school and or another shift at work. He was perfect again, in that boy-next-door way that stood out among the slacking senior boys. He didn't answer questions and people accepted that – the less details given, the crazier the rumors could be. But he was Sam and everyone assumed the best, that he went on a soul-searching journey or something. I think I was the only one who noticed his smiles resembled grimaces. Who would notice? He looked strong and capable, now more than ever.

Around a week after his return, I came home, sweaty and exhausted, to find Sam on my porch again.

 _He grabbed me by my arms. "Are you alright?"_

 _"I'm fine," I said, shrugging him off. "I was just running. Uh, how long have you been here?"_

 _"Not long. I-I would've come sooner if I wasn't so busy. Leah…I just want you to know…I'm sorry."_

 _"And I forgive you. Can we drop it?" I moved towards the door but he shifted to block my path._

 _"You're still angry with me."_

 _"Can you blame me? How did you think I would feel about you bailing on me, disappearing for a month, and showing up without an explanation?"_

 _Sam took a deep breath. "There isn't much to say. I was stressed. I needed a break."_

 _"Did you need a break from me, too? Cuz we can take a permanent one."_

 _"You don't mean that."_

 _"I do. You screwed with my head, Sam. God, you don't even know what I've been through these past few weeks."_

 _"It's been hell for me too, actually."_

 _"Then why are you keeping secrets? If you gave a crap, you would talk to me. I was terrified for you! I cared more than anybody but you don't trust me!"_

 _At this point, neither of us could keep our voices down. "You think I don't care about you? If you knew everything, you could be hurt! Lee-lee, you have no idea…"_

 _Sam had no idea what how much I'd learned since his absence. Our world was much more dangerous than I could imagine. He didn't need to guard me from every bad thing in the universe._

 _"I'm protecting you." The strength in his voice made me pause._

 _"That's not your job," I finally said. "In fact, it never was."_

 _Sam dropped to his knees, no longer strong or capable. His warm hands loosely clasped mine. "Please. At least let me make it up to you."_

 _From this vantage point, I could take in his new haircut, shorter than usual. I made myself focus on his eyes. "You always need to be perfect. Fix every mistake," I said absently._

 _In a moment of hope, he pulled me gently down next to him. He kissed the back of my hand. "I'll never leave your side again. I love you, Lee-lee."_

 _I said nothing, only allowed him to keep my hands in his, even as I imagined they were smarting against his hot skin._

"I wish we had done more to help you." Edward's low, musical voice nearly broke my heart.

"That wasn't for you! You weren't meant to…" I told myself that crying once in front of this man had been embarrassing enough.

"Don't be embarrassed," Edward said, always a gentleman. "I've heard a lot worse."

"I feel so stupid! I said we were over, but then I just let him back in. I don't know if I can handle another heartbreak. It feels wrong to leave but it feels wrong to stay. I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot; you're young. You know that phrase, love makes people do – "

"Stupid things, yeah I know. It's so funny. We used to make sense. Would you believe we were perfect once?"

"Perfection is overrated."

"Coming from you, that's hilarious."

Edward smirked. "Are you going to start hitting on me like you did in the bookstore?"

"You wish!" We laughed like normal friends.

We drove for a while in silence, me lost in thoughts he couldn't ignore. I had missed his company and was a little happier that Alice made him pick me up. With just a few conversations, he left an impression on me. I could use a friend like him. If things were different, we might have hung out or at least stayed in touch. Unfortunately, life was complicated and dangerous and vampire boys did not text human girls. I wanted to be friends in some small way, even if it required carrier pigeons. We passed the busier area of Forks where the businesses, offices, and restaurants were.

"Can I buy you something? As a thank you for the ride?" I asked.

Edward returned my smile. "Leah, I bet my pathetic existence that you're not carrying a single dollar."

"Just you wait, Cullen. I'll surprise you."

We went to the first store I saw. Half the letters on the building were missing so I didn't know where we were until I walked in. There were aisles and aisles of toiletries, makeup, food, greeting cards, office supplies and toys. Every wall and display had a sign proclaiming all merchandise to be "ONE DOLLAR!"

"Just what the doctor ordered," I said.

"Oh, please," Edward said. "That doesn't mean – "

"Hush." I jammed a hand into the deep pockets of my hoodie. I found three quarters in my left one and an unwrapped piece of mint gum in the right. I held the gum out to Edward. "You want?"

"Pass."

I shrugged and continued my search. There was a dime in my right sneaker. "I knew it!"

Edward was still gloating. "You're fifteen cents short."

"Wait," I said. Edward turned away, mortified, when I pulled two dimes out of my sports bra.

"There goes your 'pathetic existence'," I teased.

"And your dignity," he murmured.

Thankfully, the store was empty with the exception of two workers, each slouching glumly over his cash register. Neither bothered to make sure we weren't stealing, as bored teenagers are assumed to do. I declined Edward's offer to buy me something. "This is your chance to treat yourself," I said.

"I've been indulging for years. I have a surplus of everything."

"Except fun."

"I have fun." He looked like he meant it, too.

"Doing what?"

"I like to wrestle my brothers. I compose music, occasionally."

I rolled my eyes. "But you've been doing those things for centuries."

"Decades!"

"Whatever."

We walked around for a few more minutes when suddenly Edward pointed something out. "I want that."

"Ha. Really?"

"Yes."

We paid for his gift and left. I was content for a while, pretending my life was never shaken up and ready to explode like a bottle of soda. I think Edward was, too. He was looking out his open window again, completely still. Somewhere along the drive to my home, we both snapped back into reality. I said, "It's crazy how you can't drop me off at my house."

"Yes, Alice reminded me of this. A few of the older Quileutes know about my family. It's imperative that we never cross onto the La Push side."

"I understand, Edward. We'll part ways at the border. You'll wait there until I text you that I'm in." We had exchanged numbers earlier.

"It still feels boorish."

"It's not even four yet. No monsters will come after me." I winced, wondering if I'd inadvertently insulted him.

"It's alright. That's what I am, Leah." He had accepted this long ago.

"Don't say things like that."

Edward finally turned away from his window. "Why shouldn't I? I can convince strangers that I'm human, albeit a strange one, but I'll never fool myself. I am inhuman and that makes me a monster."

"Why are you so sure human equals good? Thousands of humans kill, rape, and steal and destroy. At least vampires kill for their own survival." A year ago, I never would've imagined I'd be riding in a luxury car with a vampire, much less defending vampirism to said vampire.

"You all get a chance to be good. We get _none._ Feeding on animals for years won't diffuse the allure of human blood. We crave it and that is evil. It's sick. You are my friend yet I have to keep this window open because sitting in a small, closed space with you would drive me insane."

I couldn't hold Edward's hard stare for more than a second. He finally turned back towards the window. His body went so still I wondered if he was even breathing. Only his auburn-ish hair twisted in the wind.

"Edward?"

No response.

 _Oh, Edward,_ I thought, partly to him, partly to myself. _You must have suffered through so many things to make you this way. I'm sorry. I just wish you wouldn't be so pessimistic. Then again, I'm all for wallowing in my own misery. We make a pretty terrible pair, don't we?_

He laughed, very, very lightly. Almost childlike.

An idea, a very good idea, popped in my head. I turned onto a new road with a different destination in mind. We had a little bit of time until sunset. Good thing Seth was at a friend's and Mom and Dad wouldn't be home for a few hours. No one would be looking for me. "You busy?" I asked Edward.

He was already smiling.

The Cullens' porch was much nicer than mine. Edward said the house wasn't new, that the seven of them just took great care of it. They never got tired of repairing and improving things, hence Rosalie's work with cars and Alice's love of fashion design. I was beginning to feel like I knew the others by now and was slightly disappointed when we arrived at an empty house.

Edward and I walked around to the back of the porch. "Alice must've saw us coming. I know you were curious about my family, but it would've been an unpleasant meeting. Trust me."

"You painted such a lovely picture of them."

"I love them all. However, things are tense right now." His face betrayed his frustration but I was hesitant to pry further. By pushing he had helped me, but I wasn't sure I could do the same for him. It was harder for me to learn him than for him to learn me. I wondered what'd be like to hear his thoughts, to have his opinions and ideas, buzzing in my ears.

We sat down right outside the back door. I declined Edward's suggestion of sitting at the table in favor of the floor. It was smooth wood, painted white to match the rest of the house. Edward joined me and began to take his present out of the plastic shopping bag.

 _Of course,_ I thought. _When you do have fun, it has to be in the weirdest way ever._

Edward frowned.

 _I'm not judging, just a little surprised. Never would've guessed you liked...er…_

"Jigsaw puzzles?" Edward held up the box.

 _Yeah._ I snatched it out his hand and dumped all one-hundred-forty-four pieces on the porch. _Think we'll finish?_ I pointed to the sun, which would set in less than an hour.

"You take the right, I'll take the left," Edward said.

"Sounds good."

I began to put the pieces together. Ugh, if the manufacturer had put the picture on the cover instead of inside the box, I would've made Edward choose a different one. Now we were stuck building a stupid giant flower. It was enjoyable, though, working silently to create something. We were so quiet I could hear Edward's breathing. I was glad he didn't feel the need to hold his breath or anything. He was a lot stronger than he gave himself credit for.

I was finishing up a corner when I snuck a glance at Edward. His half was complete, and he was moving on to the right with me. "How many of these do you have?" I wondered.

"This is my first one."

"You're too good."

"I…I do remember having one as a kid. I put them together with my mother."

"Esme?"

"No, my birth mother from my human life."

"You two were close?"

"Very. I loved my father, too, but she understood me better."

I nodded. "I feel the same with my dad. I look and act like my mom, but Dad and I can talk and talk without fighting."

"How is he?"

"A lot better." I told Edward all about my father's recovery plan.

"I'm glad to hear it." He looked a little relaxed for once. He smiled wryly. "One of us has to live a normal life."

The final pieces were placed together. Edward and I leaned back to admire our work. "How lovely," I said. "A giant, yellow rose. Not lame at all."

"My present, my choice. That wasn't so bad was it?"

"Nah." I glanced at the sinking sun. "Right now, half my friends are probably getting drunk."

"They're young. You're young. Nothing wrong with a little giggle water here and there."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm traditional, not illiberal."

I laughed. "You need to stop surprising me."

"You forced me out of my shell. Or coffin." He gave his usual half-smile.

"You're strange."

He bumped my shoulder with his. "So are you."

Edward waited at the border as promised. As I walked away, I glanced over my shoulder more often than I looked straight ahead. He was frozen there, eyes trained on me. I felt safe until he disappeared from my view. Luckily, he could see me from a shockingly far distance and could hear me from farther than that. I told myself that as I jogged home in the last bit of daylight.

I was walking around to the front of my house, only to find Sam there. Again. I wanted to turn right back around, run and hide. But he was staring right at me. He stormed over to me.

"Where were you?" he demanded.

Indignation welled up inside me. "Don't you dare get in my face like you own me," I growled.

"I ran into Seth an hour ago. He said he didn't know where you went. I was worried."

I rolled my eyes. "If I could deal with you being gone for weeks, you should be fine with me missing for a few hours."

"You said you wanted to drop that."

"I don't feel like fighting, so go away before I – "

Sam pulled me close. "Hey. I didn't mean to freak out. I was afraid…" His brown eyes widened in horror as he trailed off.

I swatted his chest. "What? Sam? Sam, you're freaking me out."

"It's nothing. You just smell…different."

"That's so sweet," I grumbled.

"Leah, where were you?"

"Now you want honesty?" This guy was killing me.

"Lee, please. I'm serious. Where were you?"

I suddenly felt very scared and became defensive. "I went for a run. Please, just let me go to bed."

After a long moment, Sam stepped back, nodding. The terrified look didn't leave his face. "Okay. Do you, uh, mind if I came in for a while?"

I sighed. At least my parents would be home in a couple hours. "Sure."

I headed into the kitchen to make us sandwiches. Even when our food was ready, Sam's mysterious paranoia kept him by the windows watching for something that wasn't even there.

Hopefully.


	12. A Snatch of Happy

**A/N: Sorry it's short.**

There was something so comforting about the winter. Winter, mind you, not Christmas, when everyone is rushing, hollering, and buying. The magic of winter never fails to enrapture me each year. I loved watching snow fall. The beautiful patterns of a snowflake, gently touching down to earth, only to be lost within a pile. In our backyard, my brothers and I would press our hands into the snow, which looked grey in comparison to our complexion. We'd shape perfect spheres and hurl them at each other at speeds that'd injure anyone else. Esme still worries that someone's head will be knocked off (unlikely), but Carlisle doesn't mind and will occasionally join in.

On winter break of my 2003 freshman year, we were graced with snow once again. I sighed in contentment as it began to fall around dawn. I was going through one of my less-enjoyable school years. In my time, children were raised to be reserved and respectful, even to their peers. People have always gawked at us and imagined ridiculous explanations for our peculiarities. Times have changed, however, and nowadays people were more…forward.

Four days ago, Jessica Stanley approached me after our history class and said, "So, what'd you get on that test?"

"An A." I wished she wouldn't walk so close. Her scent was strong since her heart rate increased from nearly sprinting to catch up to me.

"God, you're so smart! Like, everyone else bombed it." She rivaled Emmett in vocal power, a great feat for someone so small.

"I just study a lot," I said.

"We should totally study together sometime. Are you free tomorrow? Do you have Mr. Welch for Spanish because he's giving out this huge exam for – "

"I'm busy tomorrow." I look right into her empty eyes without a hint of an apology. She freezes and for a moment I wonder if I offended her so badly she's stunned.

"Cool," she murmurs, unfocused. She was gazing at me with misplaced awe and worship. Her mind hummed faintly; no full ideas were forming. She stepped even closer. "You have the nicest eyes," she whispered.

"Thank you," I say to sky. A gust of wind blew her scent around. The parking lot was almost completely filtered out. I glanced around for my car.

Jessica snapped back into focus now that our eye contact was broken. "Hey, don't your brothers have hazel eyes, too? And your sisters, too, I think? Oh my god, that's so weird. You guys aren't cousins, right? Where did you live before your dad took you in? Did you guys know each other before then? I totally would have – "

I pointed to the first car I saw, a Kia with a large scratch on the bumper. "That's my ride. I have to go."

She was already memorizing the license plate. "Wait, do you want to give me a call so we can – "

An irritated female voice interrupted her. "Jessica!" A woman, presumably her mother, was waving her over from across the street. She gave me a frightened look, though I was certain she didn't know me.

"Ugh, fine!" Jessica stormed away towards her mother's van.

Once they were gone, I approached Rosalie's car where Emmett was howling in the passenger seat. "Dude, you're stealing all my admirers away!"

In a rare moment of agreement, Rose and I shared a glance and an eye-roll. She had forgiven me for the way I handled things with Leah, especially since I hadn't seen her in days. In return, I got a quiet ride home. Neither Rose nor I wanted to live forever, but we would make it as tolerable as possible by skirting conflicts.

My peaceful morning was short-lived. Carlisle calmly entered. He was always slower than the others, even in the privacy of our home. He was the only one who could forego knocking without annoying me.

 _I have off from work,_ he thought as he stood by me at the glass wall.

"Really?" I said. Carlisle was almost always at the hospital and would probably be there even longer if he didn't have to pretend to need sleep.

"Yes," he smiled. Then he went outside. I tried not to grin like a little boy on Christmas day.

I considered getting the others, but figured they'd be... _busy_ with their wives. They'd hear us out there anyway.

As soon as I was off the back porch a snowball nailed me in the back of my head. I turned to see Carlisle perched on the roof.

"Esme marked the house off limits," I warned.

"If I remember correctly, she marked _indoors_ off-limits," he said. He tried to launch another snowball at my face, but I saw what he was thinking and dodged it. I rolled far away and rapidly began shaping ammunition. Carlisle scaled a tree and managed to get in a few quick shots before I fired my first. Then another, then another, and another until Carlisle dropped onto the ground, laughing.

He shook the snow out of his blond hair. "I forgot that you're much more enjoyable as a teammate than an opponent."

"You just don't like a challenge," I laughed, jumping out of the way of his next shot.

"But we do!" Emmett's voice rang out before both Carlisle and I were bombarded with snow. Instead of running, I paused and absorbed the feeling of the moisture on my face. I loved water. It was one of the few ordinary things I took pleasure in.

Jasper tackled me and managed to keep me down. He smiled haughtily at me as I struggled. I tried not to feel too ashamed, as he was trained and experienced in combat. "Emmett, now!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett barreling over, carrying a huge bolder of snow. I winced though the icy block didn't hurt, just left me sputtering. Jasper got up to high-five Emmett. I seized my opportunity, pouncing on Jasper.

"Tackling is cheating!" I said.

"So's your stupid power. Had to compensate," Jasper replied, trying to wriggle away.

"No, fair! I want to fight!" Emmett whined.

Jasper and I sprung apart before our brother could attack us then complain when he lost. Emmett had already leaped only to land on snow. We laughed when he looked up at us with childish surprise.

"Boys," Carlisle said softly. He was perched in a tree, close to the forest's edge. "Don't you hear that?"

We froze.

I climbed in next to him. "No…but I see it."

Many, many, yards away, men were approaching. They were silent, Quileute, and…

"They're furious," Jasper whispered.

 **A/N: In the next few weeks, I will be posting stories for other fandoms, such as Teen Titans, School for Good and Evil, and Hunger Games, so feel free to check those out!**


	13. Announcement

Hello, it's Apples 'n' PB, author of "Monsters". It's been well over a year since I've published a chapter of this fic but I am seriously invested in it. If you're still interested in the fic, all is not lost! However, for personal creative reasons, I do not want to keep writing the story. I am rewriting. The plot is the same but I have matured as a writer and have higher hopes for what I could do with this story. I promise you'll love it, whether your read this fic long ago or you're new to "Monsters". Follow me on Tumblr for updates, sneak peeks and fun Twilight craziness.


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